So he bought rhinoceros pee at $20 an ounce. I doubt if any species of American deer has ever seen a rhinoceros, let alone smelled its pee, so I was curious how the deer would react to this new scent. After hanging the vials, I stuck around to watch. Two deer approached a vial and sniffed at it, then sniffed some more. They became agitated and then, I swear, started to lick the vial violently. They loved it! Apparently deer and rhinos would make perfect companions.

I'm a garden consultant, designer and writer who's been published in national magazines. I'm also a keen observer of the Cleveland garden scene. I had a garden program on WVIZ, and I'm writing a book on the golden age of Cleveland's great estate gardens. I've lectured to garden clubs, historical societies and community groups.

Almost all garden clubs are made up entirely of women, and older women at that, who hardly garden anymore but just get together to socialize. So where does a guy who happens to be gay find like-minded people who share his interest in gardening?

I solved the problem by starting the Cleveland Gay Garden Club.

Why a gay garden club? La Cage au Folles, birds of a feather flock together. Gay men like, well, other gay men.

The response has been wonderful after a notice in the Gay People's Chronicle. One man called to tell me how he'd begged his local, all-female garden club to admit him; not only was he the sole male member, he was also the youngest — at 71! A gay minister with a degree in horticulture e-mailed me and was overjoyed to hear about the club. A gay couple signed up immediately. A black man who grew up in the South and lived in Cleveland had no garden at all, but remembered his grandmother's garden and wanted to join to visit others' gardens and meet gay men who liked to garden. "I don't go to bars to meet men, so this is perfect," he said. "More civilized."

For years, upscale, glossy garden magazines have featured gardens designed by gay couples and individuals, and they are the most drop-dead gorgeous gardens in the magazine. Gay men have a certain whimsical creativity and use unusual plant combinations and garden ornaments to create dramatic gardens. And don't forget gay couples are DINKS — Double Income, No Kids. Realtors will tell you that homes owned by gay men sell fast because they are decorated and landscaped so beautifully.

Many of the newest garden trends were started by gay men, like the now popular hot-color, tropical look, begun by a man in California. He threw out the pinks and put in the reds, oranges and purples, and for more dramatic effect, used large-leaf plants like colocasias, gunneras and hardy banana trees that will come up every year even in Cleveland. I planted my hardy banana, musa basjoo, last year when it grew six feet; this year it will reach 10 feet, all surrounded by multi-colored zinnias and creeping nasturtiums.

We'll do for Clevelanders' yards what Queer Eye for the Straight Guy does for style-challenged men.

Now don't you want to join CGGC to share these ideas and visit local gardens and specialty nurseries, and travel as a fun gay group to national and perhaps international gardens?

So get out of the closet and into the dirt — which we'll dish and dig. We'll take on community beautification projects to maintain our visibility. We'll host plant sales to raise money for charities. We'll invite prominent experts to speak at our meetings. We'll challenge the straight men's garden club — surely there's one out there somewhere — to strenuous athletic events like Water-lily Tag, Speed Croquet, weightlifting (with five-lb. sacks of saphgum moss), Softball Bocce and a Zinnia Deadheading Contest. And we'll have the most fabulous potluck summer garden parties ever.

For more information about the Cleveland Gay Garden Club, contact Phillip Iannarelli at gaygardeners@earthlink.net or 216.382.0529.