For the love of all that's holy, what does Mark Stratis have to do to get a date for New Year's Eve? Seriously, women of Cleveland, what's the problem? He's kind, he's funny, he has the warm eyes of a devoted spaniel. So what does it take? Six-pack abs? Hair plugs? Does he have to tart himself up and stand before a live audience at the East 14th Street Theatre, in a reality dating show called Avail 4, leaving himself vulnerable both to rejection and stage fright at the same time?

Because he's willing to do that. As are about a dozen of his fellow singles who have been bruised and battered throughout the speed-dating, online-ad-placing, singles-bar universe. Their hopes range from finding a date to finding true love, and they are now the minions of matchmaker Linda Fredrickson, creator of this theatrical experience-slash-singles mixer fusion of The Bachelor and The Vagina Monologues.

"The concept of putting yourself out there is not new," says Fredrickson. "The concept of advertising yourself in exactly this way is."

Avail 4 is a scripted theatrical work, comprising monologues and playlets performed by actors. However, the play's primary function is to serve as a framework for a group of brave, extroverted singles, who are not actors, to present themselves in live personals ads. Fredrickson calls them "pop-ups," because the experience is similar to online dating, and because each participant "pops up" out of the audience when it's his or her turn. Following the show, the audience members can approach the singles they find most fetching.

The cast members are also single. Director Jacqi Loewy says she didn't require it — that would be discrimination — but decided that she would only cast people who were genuinely enthused by the concept, and in this case that meant finding actors who were painfully familiar with the not-always-dignified world of dating. The cast features actors from Tony and Tina's Wedding, the improvisational game show Bonk! and Cabaret Dada among others.

The actors — Russel Stich, Kellie McIvor, Elizabeth Wood and Woodie Anderson — are there to help prop up the "pop-ups," acting as hosts and cushioning their presentations with a little flattery and banter. "Pop-up number 6, if you were a president, you'd be Baberaham Lincoln," etc.

As for the singles themselves, what sort of goods should the audience hope to ogle through the Avail 4 window? Quite a variety. There's an ex-husband and wife duo, who give their presentations from one row apart — with jokes about restraining orders. There's a PR professional who says she's a little better at public relations than she is at personal relations. There's a guy who teaches high-voltage cable-splicing. And, of course, they've all found something through participating in Avail 4 that they wouldn't have found by placing a more conventional personals ad — they're together in their aloneness. They've been pal-ing around after rehearsals and forming bonds, though none of them will confirm or deny that romances have blossomed.

"Linda just wanted to create a network of single people," says Lew Doering of cable-splicing fame. Whether or not the "pop-ups" find love, they're at least assured they won't be bowling alone. "You know, after this is all over we can send out an e-mail saying "Hey, anyone want to go to the car show this weekend?'"

Doering came to Avail 4 after a particularly bitter experience with online dating. Apparently, his would-be lady friend didn't bear even the slightest resemblance to her online profile and photo: "Oh my God, we're talking night and day. I mean, it was a totally different person."

Which, the participants agree, is one of the main advantages to shopping for singles via Avail 4: What you see is what you get. No hiding behind 20-year-old photos or trumped-up online personas. These people are bravely putting it out there for all the world to see, without a smoke screen or an airbrush.

"It's a totally new concept," says participant Susan Merriman. "How can you not try it? And we're the pioneers."