BLACK DIAMOND - "The look on people's faces when I start performing is priceless."

Once a year, in a bar near Kent State, something magical happens. Those who have witnessed this event are forever changed. Later, they may attempt to describe it to friends but they will come up short. For no words uttered by mortals can capture the awesomeness that is Black Diamond.

It's the voice that gets you first, silky-smooth, crooning "Cracklin' Rosie" or "I Am, I Said." And at first you wonder, is it him? Is Neil Diamond singing at a college bar in Kent, Ohio? You catch a glimpse of dazzling sequins on stage. Could it be? But wait. That guy's not a New York Jew! He's Å  he's Å  black!

"The looks on people's faces, when I start performing, are priceless," says Theron Denson. "They're sure it's a trick microphone."

The way Denson tells it, when he was a young teen growing up in the rural South, a few old women noticed his peculiar way of singing hymns at church. They told him he sounded "just like that Neil Diamond." From that day on, Denson has been a man on a mission: to be the ass-kickingest Neil Diamond impersonator in America. To-day!

Be at Glory Days Water Street Tavern in Kent at 10 p.m. Saturday. The Black Diamond will blow your mind. One word of caution: Be prepared to hear "Sweet Caroline" at least three times.

— James Renner

DEATHS IN THE FAMILY

The Cleveland music community has been rocked by a series of deaths lately. First it was club impresario Hank Berger, who passed away October 31 (see page 41). Then on November 9, folk performer John Bassette died at age 64 after a long period of failing health. And the next day, R&B star Gerald Levert died at age 40 of an apparent heart attack.

Levert, son of Eddie Levert of the O'Jays, launched his stellar career as a singer, songwriter and producer when he formed the group Levert with his brother, Sean, and songwriting partner Marc Gordon in 1985. Following a series of chart-topping R&B hits and the 1987 crossover hit "Casanova," Levert began a solo career in 1991. While he never became a huge star, his albums sold steadily and he was always in demand as a producer and songwriter for artists such as Anita Baker, Patti LaBelle and the O'Jays.

He was also known for his dedication to his hometown, which he never left, mentoring and encouraging young local artists through his studio and his production companies. An unpretentious man, who laughed at the entourages cultivated by some superstar R&B and hip-hop acts, Levert updated his sound but underneath remained faithful to classic romantic R&B balladry.

The peripatetic Bassette cropped up in Cleveland some time in the 1960s and was an icon in the local hippie/alternative culture community in the late '60s and '70s. His tunes "Weed and Wine" and "Hessler Street" became local anthems as he performed at street fairs, free concerts and clubs around town. He was one of the first area artists to self-release his music, on his own Tinkertoo label.

Bassette disappeared from the music scene in the '80s and suffered a series of strokes in the '90s. In 2002, many of Bassette's friends from the area folk scene joined to hold a benefit concert for him at the Beachland Ballroom that included the release of the first CD compilation of his music. Friends have also constructed a Web site in his honor, johnbassette.org.

A public memorial for Levert takes place at noon Friday, November 17, at the Convention Center's Music Hall (East 6th and St. Clair). Bassette's funeral service is at 7 p.m. Thursday, November 16, at St. Augustine Manor, 7801 Detroit Ave.

— Anastasia Pantsios

THE CAVS AND THE CAVS-NOTS

Since LeBron graduated high school, the Cleveland Cavaliers have quickly become the chief import of pride in our overweight and destitute city. Hot tickets to late-season games are the one thing we're willing to pay money for — the scalpers figured that out pretty quickly. And then Dan Gilbert saw an opportunity.

Starting this year, Cavs fans can purchase, sell and transfer tickets on the Cavs' Web site. The Flash Seats program uses software developed by Gilbert. And by design, its purpose seems to be taking the profit out of scalpers' hands and putting it back in his pocket, where it belongs.

"Since we are the product, since we are the ones building that value, we are now participating in that value," explains the team's vice president for communications, Tad Carper.

Well, kudos to Gilbert, but some fans are crying foul.

One angry email to the Free Times last week said: "Everyone knows TicketBastard makes a healthy profit selling tickets, especially online, where fees can equal 20 percent of the ticket cost. Well, the Cavaliers Flash Seats buyer program automatically charges 20 percent on all purchases. WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT ABOUT?"

And what's with the minimum "connection fee" of $20 for $10 nosebleed seats?

Season ticketholders who switched to Flash Seats e-tickets are also upset that "gifting" tickets to friends has become more complicated. In order to give the tickets away, the recipient must also be a Flash Seat member, which means giving up a license or credit card info to Gilbert's computers (and perhaps receiving a free trial of Quicken in the mail, a short time later?).

Carper says that so far, Flash Seats is proving to be a success. He foresees a time when hard tickets are completely phased out — which is good news for Gilbert, who shares in the resale market. Plus, he can sell the software to other NBA teams. Which, in turn, could create more tech jobs in Cleveland.

Nice, sure. But somehow he's made us feel dirtier buying tickets from his Web site than from some meth-addled junkie on the corner. And he sure as hell didn't ask for ID when he screwed us on the cheap seats. — James Renner

DEMS FIGHTIN' WORDS

In a recent diatribe on how What Readers Want is more conservatism in their daily rag, Plain Dealer columnist Regina Brett lamented how she could pay for lunch but not dinner if she had a buck for every conservative in the newsroom. Seems like she might collect at least a few of those dollars from the paper's late-shift copy desk. Those rascally wordsmiths, them.

Perhaps the most fun these word doctors get to have is when called upon to write The Big Headline, summing up something monumental in the fell swoop of a single thought or idea. One notable San Francisco Examiner headline that went out immediately post-9/11: "Bastards!" And that's what we thought after giving the PD's post-election day headline of "Dems day" more than a quick glance.

Dems day? Sounds a little like "Doomsday."

Bastards!

Of course, editor Doug Clifton doesn't see it that way. Trickery at word play isn't the province of Plain Dealers, damn it. In an e-mail exchange this week, Clifton stated that Daryl Kannberg, deputy managing editor in charge of the copy desk, gave the headline the green light. He didn't get more specific.

"No, it wasn't selected as a play on Doomsday," he wrote. He added that it would be "weird" for anyone to think otherwise.

Now, we may be naught but fuzzy-headed liberals, but we know punctuation. And if the headline was meant to be read as a shorter form of "Day of the Dems," then there should have been an apostrophe.

To which Clifton replied, "If it needed to be there, it would have gone after the "s,' as in Dems' Day." But apparently it didn't need to be there. And we're weird for wondering why. — Dan Harkins

chatter@freetimes.com

RUST BELT REPORT

Democrats take control of Ohio.

Republicans still own everything.

Voters frustrated that new electronic machines lack privacy.

Carl Monday lauds new ease with which masturbators can be brought to justice.

Ohio Supreme Court rules that dead people's statements are admissible in court.

"Then he said, "Thanks for shooting me' — sweartagahd, your honor."

Two fans win $1 million after being falsely accused of planting a bomb at Jacobs Field.

It's only fair — Tribe's annual implosions always go unpunished.

Angry West Side residents set up coffee and donut stand outside local drug house.

Now cops are coming from other towns.

Connie Schultz plans to return to the Plain Dealer soon.

We'd like to know one thing: Why?

Hispanic juvie inmate asks politely for more Mexican meals from prison cafeteria.

And fewer tossed salads.

Rumor has it that Governor-elect Ted Strickland may hire a Cuyahoga County commissioner to work in his office.

Sorry, Governor — it's all three or nothing.

Confusion delays passage of "puppy mill" bill by Ohio's House of Representatives.

Wise guy inserted language proposing switching to finer bits of puppies in shakers so that mills are no longer necessary.

Ohio State to battle Michigan this Saturday.

And the nerds at Rust Belt Report have no jokes to make about this whatsoever. Nope, not us. Um... go Bucks?

Westlake bars form "Viagra Triangle," says Plain Dealer.

"Is that a platinum card in your pocket or are you just increasing the blood flow to your penis with prescription medication?"

Dennis Kucinich jokes about turning Republican.

Democratic party leadership draws up paperwork for him.