Providing one of the more outlandish opening performances in Free Times Music Awards history, Uncle Scratch’s Gospel Revival kicked off the festivities of the annual event with a bang. Taking place for the second year in a row at the Beachland Ballroom, the event got underway as Uncle Scratch’s Brother Ed and Brother Ant gave the crowd a good dose of their unique send-up of evangelism and garage rock.

“The devil is a cocksucker,” intoned Brother Ed through the battered megaphone he had stashed in his drum kit. Leaning back in his lawn chair to holler and sing, the guy delivered non-stop non-sequiturs. “Hello, alternative rockers,” he said. “We’re not Stryper. We ain’t dressin’ up like Bumble Bees.” As the band tore through songs such as “I Banged a Sinner,” Brother Ant would hop atop Brother Ed’s drum kit or run through the crowd. He was unfazed by the various items (coins, ice, debris) that some of the more rowdy types threw at him. “Do not try these songs at home,” Brother Ed said. “We are paid professionals.” Well, they were neither paid nor professional, but they were definitely a hoot.

Once the mayhem subsided, the evening’s MCs, Pat the Producer and Jim Benson, appeared at the podium. “What a coincidence that we’re here together,” said Benson, who hosts the 92.3 FM local music show The Inner Sanctum every Sunday night with Pat the Producer. After an off-color joke about sheep molestation (huh?), the two got down to business, introducing WRUW DJ Charlie Saber to hand out the Best Americana award.

Saber, who joked that he was “fucked up before I even got up here,” led the crowd through a “happy birthday” salute to WRUW, which turns 40 this year. He then handed out the winner’s trophy to the guys from Roger Hoover’s Whiskeyhounds who said, “It’s nice we get rewarded for being underpaid and oversexed” and then advised other acts to “get on the fuckin’ road.”

Saxophonist Ernie Krivda was then the first in a series of recipients of All-Star Awards, given as a way to retire nominees who have become perennial winners. Krivda, who leads the Fat Tuesday Big Band, tours and records with a smaller ensemble, and is a founding faculty member of Tri-C’s Jazz Studies program, joked that it was kind of like receiving the “Bob Hope Award,” but added, “It’s a pleasure to keep doing what I’ve been doing.” Fox 8 broadcaster Kenny Crumpton, who looked quite svelte in a red velvet jacket, handed out the Best Horn award while acknowledging the gentleman who bought him his “first shot of Crown” for the evening. The winner, Kristine Jackson, who also took home Best Blues, was playing a gig and unable to accept her award.

Next up was 92.3 FM personality Rachel Steele, who complained that “some asshole” had just spilled beer on her. She delivered Best Bassist to Lords of the Highways’ Sugar, who hugged Steele and then said, “I deserve this award. I’ve been [Lords’ singer-guitarist] Dennis [Bell’s] bass player for eight years now. You try to do that.”

For the third year in a row, Disown took home the Best Goth/Industrial award. As the band sauntered to the stage, presenter Andrea Sweazy, the talent buyer from the Agora Theatre, said, “I know you’re goth, but move quickly.” The guys got their trophy and then countered, “Thank you, drunk Andrea.”

Chittlin’, a 17-year-old singer-songwriter from Akron who sounds wise beyond her years, then played a three-song set that included poignant renditions of tunes from her 2006 debut, White Lies. Delivered with a slight drawl, the songs were exquisite even if their nuances were lost in the din.

Robin Stone talked about putting “music first” as she accepted the Best Vocalist award, Hillbilly Idol acknowledged the diversity of the event as it accepted Best Country trophy and Machine Go Boom’s Carrie Bukala took home Best Keyboardist after a long-winded speech by presenter Tommy Wiggins.

Nominees Robin Stone and Alexis Antes then paired up for a set of Indigo Girls-like folk and pop tunes that was again a bit difficult to hear above the noise. Following their performance, singer-songwriter Anne E. DeChant received the second All-Star Award for the night. DeChant, formerly of Odd Girl Out, has had a successful career and expects to release her fourth solo album sometime this year. She thanked everyone for “years of recognition,” and then presented Best Singer-Songwriter to Akron’s Patrick Sweany.

Abdullah took home Best Metal, Rebel Girl won Best Punk and Dave Sterner received Best Jazz, though he was not present to collect his award. The Jack Fords then kicked things back into high gear with an energetic set that showed why they’re one of the best bar bands in the city. Between Brent Kirby’s wailing harmonica and the keyboard fills provided by Chris Hanna, the group delivered raunchy rock ’n’ roll that even included an indulgent, standing-on-the-edge-of-the-stage guitar solo.

Beachland owners Mark Leddy and Cindy Barber presented Best Indie/Underground to Machine Go Boom. “These bands play here often and are an illustration of why Cleveland is such a great music town,” said Barber in introducing the nominees.

After Mick Boogie, who was a no-show, won Best DJ, Carlos Jones received an All-Star Award. Since Jones was feeling sick, he sent a couple of friends to collect the award, and they acknowledged his intent to send a “positive message” through his music. Indeed, Jones has been a key figure on the local reggae scene ever since he played with I-Tal and First Light in the ’80s.

Another key figure in the local reggae scene, promoter Packy Malley, was on hand to present Best Ethnic/World to Mifune, who half-jokingly thanked “whoever threw us off the stage at Tri-C Jazzfest” in reference to an infamous event in which the band was prevented from performing because it was wearing anti-Bush T-shirts. Best Hardcore went to Ringworm, who didn’t make it to the stage to accept their award, though Pat the Producer said he had seen them sitting at the bar.

The Ill Disciples, winners of Best Rap/Hip-Hop, then delivered an over-the-top set. One of the band members wore a Scream mask and waved a giant flag, often jumping into the crowd to do so. Encouraging audience members to “make some noise if you’re from Cleveland,” the guys graciously thanked everyone for “the love” and put on an entertaining show that got more than one head bobbing.

Blues veteran Austin “Walkin’ Cane” Charanghat won Best Guitarist and then drummer Tommy Rich, newly appointed director at the School of Rock, handed out Best Drummer to Disengage’s Jonathan Morgan, who said, “Everyone else nominated — you are all better.” Morgan ended up staying on stage as Disengage received the final All-Star Award for the evening. Over the course of 13 years, Disengage, a thinking man’s metal act, has delivered three albums that push the boundaries of hard rock while maintaining an unparalleled level of aggression.

Black Diamonds took home Best Hard Rock, and the Whiskey Daredevils won Best Rockabilly/Garage before Houseguest came out for a closing set. Appearing more disoriented than normal, the Akron band tore through a few tracks from their latest album, High Strangeness. The band closed with a Warren Zevon tune that erred on the side of sloppy.

Pat the Producer then delivered the final award to the Jack Fords for Best Rock and everyone in the know headed to the Tavern to hear DJs Fishtruck and Racecard spin hard-to-find soul and R&B tunes.

8th Annual FreeTimes Music Awards Winners:

• 
  Best Americana Band
  Roger Hoover & The Whiskeyhounds
  with presenter Charlie Saber (l.)
• 
  Best Horn Player
  Kristine Jackson
• 
  Best Country Band
  Hillbilly IDOL (c.)
  with presenter Jeff Niesel & Peanuts
• 
  Best Goth/Industrial Band
  Disown
  with presenter Andrea Sweazy (l.)
• 
  Best Bass Player
  Rebecca "Sugar" Wildman (l.)
  with presenter Rachel Steele
• 
  Best Guitarist
  Austin "Walkin’ Cane" Charanghat
• 
  Best Rockabilly/Garage Band
  The Whiskey Daredevils
• 
  Best Blues Band
  Kristine Jackson
• 
  Best Singer/Songwriter
  Patrick Sweany
• 
  Best Drummer
  Jonathan Morgan (r.)
  with presenter Tommy Rich
• 
  Best Punk Band
  Rebel Girl
  with presenter Nard (c.)
• 
  Best Jazz Band
  Dave Sterner
  with presenter Dave Love
• 
  Best Indie/Underground Band
  Machine Go Boom
  with presenter Mark Leddy (Second from l.)
• 
  Best DJ
  Mick Boogie
• 
  Best Ethnic/World Band
  Mifune
  with presenter Packy Malley (r.)
• 
  Best Rap/Hip Hop Act
  The Ill Disciples
  with presenter Carrie Samek
• 
  Best Metal Band
  Abdullah
  with presenter Bill Peters
• 
  Best Hard Rock Band
  The Black Diamonds (r.)
  with presenter Neil Sheehan
• 
  Best Rock Band
  The Jack Fords
  with emcees Jim Benson and Pat the Producer
• 
  Best Keyboard/Pianist
  Carrie Bukala
  with presenter Tommy Wiggins
• 
  Best Vocalist
  Robin Stone(c.)
  with presenters Melanie & Kevin from Music
• 
  Best Hardcore Band
  Ringworm
  with presenter Trent Weller (l.)