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Brenna Lee Roth
Photo: Robert Logue, Cypocryphy.com

Maybe you think it's silly or even juvenile to care that this Friday, April 20 (4/20) is the official unofficial day of celebration for weed worshipers. But maybe you're a straight-laced wanker who still has some white left in his eyes and could use some help sliding that stick out of your ass.

You won't find this one on the calendar, sure, but many would argue that it's way more of an excuse to celebrate than Presidents Day. Crash course: It's a grassroots holiday, says Steven Hager, editor of High Times magazine, that started, appropriately enough, with a small group of grass-lovin' teens at California's San Rafael High in the early '70s. Hager knows. Despite a variety of myths purporting that the 4:20 code for grass originated from cop-speak or Hitler's birthday, Hager's got postdated letters from the teens, calling themselves the Waldos, to prove his story.

In Goonies fashion, the friends got their hands on a map that purportedly led to a pot patch growing in Point Reyes Peninsula. The teens would agree to meet at 4:20 p.m. at a Louis Pasteur statue near their school parking lot.

"They never found the field," Hager says, "but they met on a few occasions to look for it. They'd say to each other "4:20 Louis' to refer to when and where they were meeting up, and from there, it grew into the shortened 4:20 as a time to get together and smoke. Then, over time, it just became a code word for marijuana."

Hager says it's a triumphant time for weed smokers. A dozen states have allowed cannabis to be prescribed for a variety of disorders, and the populace is slowly warming by the fires of change.

"Marijuana is useful for more diseases and disorders than any other drug," he says, "but the government still has it listed as a schedule one narcotic, and that means there's no medical value whatsoever. Do you see a problem there? I see a big problem: The medical system and pharmaceutical industry runs on a for-profit basis, and they can't control the means of production. That's what this is about. They don't mind kids getting high. They hand out Paxil, Ritalin, Prozac, all that, and yet they pretend they have to protect us from marijuana, which has never hurt anybody. The whole thing is a scam."

And so, a party!

"4/20 is our holiday now," Hager says. "It's our spiritual time. The funny thing is, it's the same time of year as Easter and Passover and all those holidays of rebirth. We don't have a pope with a big hat, but we have deep spiritual beliefs, and cannabis is our sacrament. No doubt about it."

Yeah, well, that's news to an older generation of believers. Murray Saul, the iconic 78-year-old area radio personality and longtime pot partaker, says, "This one passed me by, but I'll think about it." — Dan Harkins

GOOD-OLD-GIRL MENTALITY

Last Thursday, Cuyahoga County Commissioners unanimously approved a contract that will pay the Huffman Group $39,200 for "consulting" work related to this year's Fatherhood Conference. That's Huffman, as in Cecelia Huffman, former Mayor Mike White's assistant (the one who was featured in White's selective "weekend call list" in leaked FBI documents).

You may also remember Huffman from her infamous reign as chairwoman of Ohio's largest Head Start agency, the Council for Economic Opportunities in Greater Cleveland. She resigned her post after getting caught jet-setting to Vegas and Hawaii on the taxpayer's dime with her favorite subordinates in tow.

Of course, this isn't the first time the Huffman Group has done consulting work for the annual Fatherhood Conference. The commissioners gave her $20,900 for two months' work in 2005. That "work" consisted mostly of designing the event invitations.

Would it be cynical of us to expect hefty donations to commissioner campaigns from the Huffman Group in the near future? — James Renner

GETTING NOTHIN' BUT STATIC

There's no good time for a radio station's transmitter to bite it. But some times are worse than others, like when your band is booked to play the broadcast concert show Live from Cleveland.

WRUW 91.1 FM, the radio station at Case Western Reserve University, had its annual telethon fundraiser scheduled for last week. But when listeners were supposed to show their charitable love for the station's mix of indie rock, world music, jazz and so much more, the transmitter shut down. And suddenly, Monday afternoon, listeners were getting nothin' but static. It went on for almost 48 hours.

According to WRUW technical director David Caban, the problem was that a CEI substation that feeds electricity to Lake Park Tower, where WRUW's transmitter is located, was pumping out too much power. Safeguards in the wiring did what they're supposed to do: break the circuit. The station maintained a faint presence through Internet streaming and the meager 10 watts broadcast from their first-stage transmitter, but if you weren't on campus or in a nearby neighborhood in Cleveland Heights, you had to switch to another college station to get your fix.

CEI eventually diagnosed the problem, but it wasn't fixed until Wednesday afternoon. The WRUW telethon has been rescheduled for April 23-29. — Michael Gill

KIDS TODAY

"I have one very important thing to say: raggle fraggle."

— Caller "Mike" on WCPN Monday morning

LOAN RANGERS

After scamming old folks out of home improvement loans for almost 30 years, and getting away with it ("The Home Despair Business," January 4, 2006), Jerry Ponsky might finally be out of excuses. Last week, Ponsky and five others were indicted on more than 90 counts, including racketeering, securing records by deception, theft, money laundering, forgery and identity theft.

"This criminal gang financially wrecked countless victims," said Cuyahoga County Prosecutor Bill Mason in a statement.

For 10 years, consumer law attorneys have been pointing fingers at the likes of Ponsky (who has faced more than 20 civil lawsuits, many with monetary judgments against him), hoping for some law enforcement agency to find something in Ohio's vast criminal code.

Philip Althouse filed a civil lawsuit for a client, then forwarded the case — amounting to fraud and theft, Althouse thought — to the FBI, US Attorney and county prosecutors' offices. Charles Bromley, formerly of the Housing Research and Advocacy Center, and now a consultant on fair housing practices, says he and others have for years been trying to convince the offices of US Attorney, Ohio Attorney General and Cuyahoga County Prosecutor that predatory lenders were wreaking havoc in Cleveland's communities. The only solution was send a message with criminal charges and jail time.

But nothing happened.

Ponsky first came before a county Common Pleas Court judge in February 2006, after a 74-year-old man decided to file a police report. Ponsky was eventually sentenced to five years' probation, told to make restitution payments and prohibited from jobs in the financial industry. Any violations meant prison time, the judge warned. But in March, Ponsky was caught selling in Lorain County. His probation was snatched away and exchanged for a one-year jail term.

Ponsky's latest indictment is in part the result of Mason's office devoting more time and resources to criminal predatory lending cases. In May, Mason hired an attorney to lead these investigations. According to his prosecutors, Ponsky stole almost $1.7 million in loans from 26 people in a span of two years.

"There's a new initiative in this area," says housing advocate Bromley about the newfound focus on predatory lending's criminal nature. "It's always been a low priority," with financial fraud cases often coming under the jurisdiction of federal prosecutors.

But now, Bromley says, with newspaper headlines almost daily screaming about foreclosure rates and sub-prime loans gone bad, there's finally enough political pressure to do something. — Charu Gupta

JUST SAY NO — UNLESS YOU REALLY WANT TO

For what feels like decades now, the Republican stranglehold on the nation has resulted in whole mountains of bullshit littering the landscape. Take abstinence-only education programs, in which America's school children are convinced that condoms won't stop the spread of Democratic policies. Well, the joke's over.

Not only has new Gov. Ted Strickland yanked $1 million in funding for the one-sided program, but the ACLU of Ohio is looking into calling it out for the marriage of church and state that it is.

Last week, the affiliate filed public records requests in 31 Ohio school districts, asking to see the curricula supporting their sex-less education classes. The requests coincide with a Congressional report, just released Friday, that shows that — gasp! — kids taking part in abstinence-only classes hump just as soon (an average of 14.9 years old) and as frequently (as much as they can) as their classmates who somehow managed not to take the classes.

Carrie Davis, staff attorney for the ACLU of Ohio, says the analysis will determine if kids are being scientifically bamboozled or religiously brainwashed. Or both. (This is Ohio.) Davis points to a study by Case professor Scott Frank, who found that students were being given, at the least, an incomplete forecast of the world's sexual climate.

""Abstinence-plus' is what a lot of medical professionals are advancing in favor of what's being done now," Davis says. No, it's not an over-the-counter libido inhibitor. "It says, yes, abstinence is ideal, but in the real world, if you're going to have sex, here's the precautions you need to take."

Like take a good look at the person unbuttoning your pants. Is that who you want raising your kids someday? Then wrap it up! — DH

chatter@freetimes.com

RUST BELT REPORT

Sheffield Township man plans to convert old airplane into bed & breakfast.

Offers parachutes to customers who want to avoid inane conversations with the Millers from Parma, who are staying in the adjoining bedroom and dropping awkward hints about a wife swap.

Cleveland teachers caught bilking workers' comp.

"Obviously, you've never suffered a chalk powder burn," a spokesperson attests.

Bandits steal $10,000 worth of Febreze from Ohio warehouse.

Police sniff their way to the best-smelling bust since that raid on Murray Saul's house.

Akron man wins $786,760 in court after injuring left testicle in weight machine mishap.

Already back at gym, dangling right nut precariously over elliptical wheel.

Indians play "home" games in Milwaukee because it's too cold in Cleveland.

Return to find pioneers building cabins in locker room.

Sam Fulwood loses column at the PD, transferred to Arts & Life section.

Review of Blades of Glory oddly militant and really boring.

Centers for Disease Control and Prevention spokesperson says local strain of gonorrhea growing more resistant to treatment.

Like your mom.

Secretary of State interviews new Cuyahoga County elections board candidates.

Wig-wearing Bob Bennett tossed out twice so far.

Authentic hand-crafted Schreckengost ceramic plate stolen from East Side auction.

Look, Jimmy Dimora saw a buffet and Jimmy Dimora don't use paper plates, dig?

Pennsylvania man arrested, charged with stealing 66 colonoscopy cameras from area hospitals.

It's hard to run with your head up your ass.

Architect says ODOT picked ugly, more expensive design for new Inner Belt bridge.

"We wanted it to blend in," says ODOT spokesman.

YOU ROCK

Michael Vu: You started a new job this week as assistant registrar of voters in San Diego County. You're making $130,000 a year now, and living thousands of miles from lake-effect snow and County Prosecutor Bill Mason. Smart move. P.S., Bob Bennett may need to crash at your pool house for a week or two until he gets on his feet again.

YOU SUCK

Clear Channel: You're really replacing Stephanie Miller with Akron sports talk? For serious? We want to hear Jim Ward's conspiracy theories, not updates on the Aeros, you pinheads! And we'd rather jump off the Y bridge than listen to Bomb and Tom. Bring back Radio Free Ohio!

Entrepreneur of the Year

Before local B-movie queen Brenna Lee Roth appears in June's Playboy, Free Times brings you an exclusive sneak peek. Roth is interviewed in the men's magazine about her new venture, PornStarGreeting.com, a soon-to-be-launched Web site where you can purchase personal video greeting cards featuring established and aspiring adult film stars to e-mail to friends and coworkers. (Clevelanders can apply at Myspace.com/brennaleeroth.) Happy Birthday to us!