Perhaps sensing that Clevelanders are beginning to question the merits of Bush's War on Terror, the Ohio Department of Homeland Security yelled "Boo!" again last week. The ODHS promoted its new "See Something, Say Something" campaign downtown June 9, with a brochure titled, "The Seven Warning Signs of Terrorism" and posters that feature pudgy Midwestern men (one dressed like a ninja) pretending to be al-Qaeda operatives casing power plants.

The announcement also showcased the ODHS's relationship with the Greater Cleveland Regional Transit Authority. "Through the help of the RTA … we want to make Ohioans aware about the importance of reporting suspicious activity through the See Something campaign," said Kenneth Morckel, director of Ohio Homeland Security, in a statement released to the press.

The "7 Signs" brochure asks RTA passengers to report anyone who "does not fit in because of demeanor, language usage, or unusual questions he/she is asking." Apparently, half the passengers on the Red Line are terrorists.

— James Renner

SCHOOL'S OUT FOREVER

When the Cleveland Heights-University Heights school system began discussing the "reorganization" of its schools, early money had it that Coventry School — with its symbiotic relationship to the Coventry Village businesses, public library and engaged population — was safe from the cost-cutting axe. Turns out that wasn't the right bet.

Monday night the CHUH school board announced that after the next school year, Coventry Elementary would close and the students would be divvied up among Boulevard, Fairfax and Roxboro schools. The school board expects to save more than $1 million as a result.

The closure is yet another blow to one of Cleveland Heights' best-known attractions, the Coventry Road commercial strip. At a school board meeting earlier this year, Tommy's owner Tom Fello told the board that merchants consider Coventry School a vital component of the community.

"It's another change in the neighborhood," says Steve Pressler, owner of Big Fun and the father of three children who attended Coventry School. "We lost the movie theater, lost our grocery store, lost a drug store. Sure, it will have an impact. We don't know what that will be. School is a reason people come to neighborhoods. Everyone identifies their neighborhood by the school or the commercial district."

The devastation was audible in the voice of Mac's Backs owner Suzanne DeGaetano. "It's not good news for any of the businesses to lose what I consider an anchor," she says.

DeGaetano says parents of kids in the school have been supportive of businesses in the district, and that they "understood the links" between the different institutions and businesses that made the community whole.

"I was feeling optimistic after having some empty spaces on the street for a long time to have City Buddha move in, and an American Apparel store coming, and the Panini's opened an outdoor patio that adds an element of vitality. This school closing sets us back."

Whatever fills the space once the school is gone will play a big role in determining the future direction of the neighborhood. The size and shape of the property present some challenges. As Pressler notes, it's "triangular at best," and has unusual topography.

What comes next for the land and the neighborhood, however, is not something that the school system has addressed yet.

"That has not been a topic of discussion," says Joe Micheller, the district's director of educational services. "It was deliberately put aside until this decision was made."

— Michael Gill

PUT IT IN NEUTRAL

Republicans are about to unleash capitalism like feral dogs into the furthest reaches of the Internet, one of the last (relatively) free things left in America besides sullied air and shit salad.

The COPE (Communications Opportunity, Promotion and Enhancement) Act, with supposed aims to make it even easier for giant corporations to make a buck on broadband while promising cheaper cable bills, would sour the Internet's network neutrality by allowing private ownership of net services by cable and phone companies. Detractors fear the obvious: a dampening of information flow by erecting an even higher pay-to-play wall in front of free Internet content.

Currently Internet providers are not supposed to choose which Web sites are listed best on searches; COPE could change that, allowing private owners to put paying, politically opportune material first in line on engine requests. Search for "GOP must pay" and you could find GOPisprayingforyou.com first in line.

The bottom line, detractors say: Big Cable wants to strip local municipalities and small-potatoes content providers of any control. Oh, and the COPE Act just passed the House, 321-101.

A net neutrality amendment that would have prevented any deals between network providers and those seeking nice Web site placement was squashed. That's what led U.S. Rep. Sherrod Brown and some colleagues to cry foul and join the angels' side — also known as the losing side in this Congress.

"Without net neutrality, buying company A's phone service might restrict you to Google and deny you Yahoo, might deny you CNN.com and only give you FoxNews.com," Brown said on the House floor in support of the doomed neutrality amendment. "American consumers deserve choice."

Remember when conservatives believed that, too? — Dan Harkins

RUST BELT REPORT

Homeland Security gives Cleveland $4.7 million to fight terrorism.

Can we use it for retractable roof over Browns stadium to deflect incoming SCUDS?

New Euclid law requires covering windows with curtains or blinds, not blankets or duct tape.

Damn, Martha Stewart's lobbyists are tough.

NASA Glenn to build part of new space shuttle.

"Shotgun!" bellows Old Man Glenn from his central Ohio home.

Police raid cockfighting operation on West 11th.

The fights were drawing more fans than Indians games.

Cleveland police car is stolen after being parked on St. Clair.

Tom Coyne has "oh shit" moment while wondering how he got home last night, and why there's a cruiser on his front lawn.

"7 Floors of Hell" haunted house auctions off old monsters.

"Fuck all of you!" shouts the eternally dejected Werewolf.

Strickland campaign fund now larger than Blackwell's.

Asked for comment, Blackwell just smiles and says, "It's all in the counting."