We were deluged with responses to our Readers' Poll, and the results are here: the best that Northeast Ohio has to offer, in the opinion of Northeast Ohioans. We did, of course, throw in a few picks of our own - we're writers, and if it weren't for arrogance, we couldn't get out of bed in the morning. But we swear, this is mostly about you.

Freebie awards selected by Free Times readers, staffers and contributors. Written by Jara Anton, Michael Gill, Charu Gupta, Ron Kretsch, Frank Lewis, Erin O'Brien, Anastasia Pantsios and Douglas Trattner.

FOOD AND DRINK

Restaurant: Three Birds

It's great to walk into a favorite restaurant and not know what to expect. That's what Three Birds head chef Rachel Spieth likes the most about the menu - that it changes every three to six months. The American bistro's recipes are fueled by the stir-craziness of Spieth, who makes it a point to include her Thai and Nepalese counterparts in the creative process. She's always reading books, she says, and drawing from all places. The menu has Mexican, Chinese influences as well. It makes Spieth's commitment to changing things up all the more easy, and tasty. 18515 Detroit Rd., Lakewood, 216.221.3500, 3birdsrestaurant.com

New Restaurant: Light Bistro

2801 Bridge Ave., Cleveland, 216.771.7130, lightbistro.com

Chef: Matt Mytro at Boulevard Blue

12718 Larchmere Blvd., Cleveland, 216.721.5500,

boulevardblue.com

Best Restaurant Redo: Baricelli Inn

No offense to Paul Minnillo, chef and owner of this storied restaurant, but how great is a restaurant few can afford to visit? By scaling back the entrées, namely the pricy steaks, Minnillo has made room for more starters, salads, sides and pastas, including half portions. The ingredients are still Earth's finest, the service just as skilled, the century-old brownstone as breathtaking as always; the only difference: the smaller bill at meal's end.

2203 Cornell Rd., Little Italy, 216.791.6500

BBQ: Hot Sauce Williams

Multiple locations

Seafood: Mallorca

1390 W 9th St., Cleveland, 216.687.9494,

clevelandmallorca.com

Chinese: Pearl of the Orient

Two locations: 20121 Van Aken Blvd., Shaker Heights, 216.751.8181; and 19300 Detroit Rd., Rocky River, 440.333.9902; pearl-east.com, pearlwest.com

Vietnamese: #1 Pho

This sharp-dressed storefront instantly elevated Vietnamese cuisine from a mom-and-pop curiosity to a must-try activity. Sleek, polished and professionally staffed, #1 Pho qualifies as one of this city's finest restaurants, let alone best Vietnamese. Bold, healthful flavors abound on the lengthy menu, from grilled shrimp on sugarcane to a citrusy chicken cabbage salad. Yes, the pho is phenomenal, but to knock back a cold, there's no topping the spicy lemongrass soup.

3120 Superior Ave., Cleveland, 216.781.1176

Mexican: Luchita's

Multiple locations, luchita.com

Margarita: Momocho

1835 Fulton Rd., Cleveland, 216.694.2122, momocho.com

Burrito: Mi Pueblo

Two locations:

12207 Lorain Ave., Cleveland,

216.671.6661;

11611 Euclid Ave., Cleveland,

216.791.8226.

MELT BAR AND GRILLED - The Parmageddon. Awesome. Just awesome.

All-You-Can-Eat: Brasa

1300 W 9th St., Cleveland, 216.575.0699, brasagrillsteakhouse.com

Best Cafeteria: Sokolowski's University Inn

Who'da thunk that one of this city's most consistently busy restaurants forces its patrons to stand cheek by jowl, plastic tray in hand, as they shuffle down an ostensibly endless cafeteria line? Despite this injustice (or because of it) our waistbands expand ever so slightly with each lengthy pass. Eagerly, we pile on heaping portions of stuffed cabbage, pierogies and chicken paprikash, pausing briefly only to pay, before gorging ourselves into blissful food comas.

1201 University Rd., Cleveland, 216.771.9236

Vegetarian: Dish Global

1834 W 25th St., Cleveland, 216.589.9700, dishglobaldeli.com

Take Out: Pnom Penh

Two locations:

1929 W. 25th St., Cleveland, 216.357.2951; 13124 Lorain Ave., Cleveland, 216.251.1230; ohiorestaurant.com

Best Lowcountry Fare: Henry's at the Barn

Who knew that a dish of lowly shrimp and grits could be so damn good? Henry's version - large shrimp and sassy andouille sausage bathed in a cayenne-spiked cream sauce and ladled over buttery stone-ground grits - is downright transformative. Other Lowcountry highlights: peel-and-eat shrimp, skillet-fried oysters and Charleston she-crab soup.

36840 Detroit Rd., Avon, 440.934.6636

Thai: Mint Café

1791 Coventry Rd., Cleveland Heights, 216.320.9915, mintcafe.org

Greek: Mad Greek

2466 Fairmount Blvd., Cleveland Heights, 216.421.3333, madgreekcleveland.com

Japanese: Shuhei Hibachi Steak & Sushi House

23360 Chagrin Blvd., Beachwood, 216.464.1720

Steak House: Red

3355 Richmond Rd., Beachwood, 216.831.2252,

redthesteakhouse.com

Sushi: Pacific East

1763 Coventry Rd., Cleveland Heights, 216.320.2302, 1763coventry.com

Italian: Lago

2221 Professor Ave., Tremont, 216.344.0547,

lagotremont.com

Indian: India Garden

18505 Detroit Ave., Lakewood, 216.221.0676, indiagardencleveland.com

American: Cleveland Chop House & Brewery

824 W. St. Clair, Cleveland, 216.623.0909, chophouse.com

BEER ENGINE BURGER - A fine feast to go with beer brewed on site.

Comfort Food: Melt Bar & Grilled

Everybody loves the newbie that excels right out of the starting gate, and the huge instant success of Melt is totally deserved. God, those sandwiches! The bread alone is like crack, the fillings are as delicious as they are inventive, the fries are perfectly cooked and seasoned, the beer list is amazing, and the bargain-bin record-sleeve menus are a stroke of minor genius. Owner/chef Matt Fish is doing nothing wrong with his tiny, Lakewood gem. And we're suddenly reminded of how long it's been since we've been to Melt...

14718 Detroit Ave., Lakewood, 216.226.3699,

meltbarandgrilled.com

Best Small Plates: Downtown 140

Oddly, while small plates struggle here in C-Town, they thrive in H-Ville - at least they do at Downtown 140. Conceived by chef and owner Shawn Monday, the restaurant's menu of smallest, small and not-so-small plates seems to scratch every itch a diner might have. From crispy braised Berkshire pork belly to an ahi tuna taco, this jazzy subterranean cave has every appetite covered.

140 N. Main St., Hudson, 330.655.2940

Best Soup Shack: Souper Market

Lunch or dinner, winter or summer, Ohio City or Lakewood: When it comes to liquid nourishment, the Souper Market delivers time and time again. Made from scratch daily by a crew of talented pros, this shop's soups hit every note, from decadent lobster bisque to the strangely curative tomato-ginger. Inconceivably, the creamy wild mushroom soup boasts more mushroom flavor than the fungi itself. And it's vegetarian to boot.

Two locations:

2528 Lorain Ave., Ohio City, 216.737.7687;

14809 Detroit Ave., Lakewood, 216.712.7292

Best Gumbo: Battiste & Dupree Cajun Grill

Hailing from a lengthy line of Cajuns, Junior Battiste was weaned on Louisiana's sprightly soups, stews and broths. Today, this genial Southerner turns out painstakingly authentic gumbo, etouffee and jambalaya from a tiny storefront in a dinged-up strip center. Thanks to healthy amounts of Spanish paprika, black pepper, granulated garlic and cayenne, Battiste's gumbo possesses a soulful earthiness and lively exuberance. It truly does feel as though there's a party going on in your mouth.

1992 Warrensville Center Rd., South Euclid, 216.381.3341

Burgers: Beer Engine

15315 Madison Ave., Lakewood,

216.262.2337, buckeyebeerengine.com

Sub Shop: Dave's Cosmic Subs

Multiple locations, davescosmicsubs.com

Breakfast: Inn On Coventry

2785 Euclid Heights Blvd.,

Cleveland Heights, 216.371.1811

Best-Kept Secret: Venezia

Moroccan-born chef Moha Orchid is one of this city's finest talents; pity that more of his Lakewood neighbors haven't noticed. But no matter where you live, it's worth the trip. A few forkfuls of food - and a laughably small tab - later, you won't lament your choice.

16300 Detroit Ave., Lakewood,

216.226.0006

Power Lunch: One Walnut

1 Walnut Ave., Cleveland,

216.575.1111, onewalnut.com

French: Chez François

Black truffles from France. White truffles from Italy. Scallops from Maine. Exotic mushrooms from Oregon. Butternut and acorn squash, along with beets and heirloom tomatoes from local Ohio farms. It's all combined into a show of French culinary power by the chefs at Chez François in Vermilion. If the riverfront and lakefront restaurant (which requires men in jackets) and café (casual is fine, just no tank tops) sounds over the top, there's something even for the uninitiated. Think St. Patrick's dinner dances, gourmet clambakes and beaujolais nouveau (a young wine that's sped through the fermentation process to be available by November) celebrations.

MUSTARD SEED - Who knew Ohio-grown cauliflower came in colors?

555 Main St., Vermilion, 440.967.0630,

chezfrancois.com

Best Liver That Isn't Foie Gras:

Calf's Liver and Onions at Bistro 185

To see this preposterously abundant dinner through to completion requires a boundless appetite. Three slices of tender pan-fried liver are buried beneath buttery sautéed onions and sided by smooth mashers. Rich gravy finds its way into every nook and cranny on the plate. The four strips of bacon that garnish the dish, one has to admit, are simply gilding the lily.

991 E. 185th St., Cleveland, 216.481.9635

Irish (West): The Harp

4408 Detroit Ave., Ohio City, 216.939.0200,

the-harp.com

Irish (East): Parnell's

2167 Lee Rd., Cleveland Heights,

216.321.3469

Best Raw Bar: Sergio's Sarava

The pleasures of a well-stocked raw bar can be boundless. Plump and briny oysters on the half-shell, sweet poached Gulf shrimp and succulent Alaskan king crab legs all tantalizingly arranged on a bed of crushed ice. As they say, It doesn't get any better than this. We love Sarava not only for the quality of its fish, which is beyond reproach, but for the spot-on mojitos.

13225 Shaker Sq., Cleveland, 216.295.1200

Best Raw Meat: Carpaccio at Vivo

Thinly sliced, rosy-red folds of buttery beef need very little to reach their flavor pinnacle - and the folks at Vivo know this. We've seen Carpaccio topped with everything from goat cheese and eggplant to caviar and truffle shavings. (Actually, there's nothing wrong with that one.) Still, when we want a by-the-books rendition, one with little more than great beef, a smattering of salty capers, a few shingles of quality parm, we head straight to Vivo.

347 Euclid Ave., 216.621.4678

Wings: Winking Lizard

Multiple locations, winkinglizard.com

Ribs: Bubba's Q

820 Center Rd., Avon, 440.937.7859,

bubbasq.com

Pizza (West): Danny Boy's

20251 Lake Rd., Rocky River, 440.333.9595, dannyboyspizza.com

Pizza (East): Geraci's

2266 Warrensville Center Rd.,

University Heights, 216.371.5643

Pizza (Deal): Pizza Pan

Multiple locations, pizzapanonline.com

Best Culinary Certificate:

Lolita's Certified Neapolitan-Style Pizzaiolos

MARKET AVENUE WINE BAR - The wine list and the wines themselves.

When Michael Symon undertakes a culinary pursuit, he aims for nothing short of the pinnacle. So when he decided to add pizzas to Lolita's menu, he sent his chefs to post-graduate pizza school. To be certified as an authentic Neapolitan-style pizza, the pies (and their makers) must adhere to a strict set of guidelines based on Neapolitan tradition. The result: some of the best pizzas available anywhere on the planet.

900 Literary Rd., Tremont, 216.771.5652

Best Cheap Eats: Pho at Superior Pho

When you're rubbing nickels, you can't be too choosy when it comes to filling the belly. But for the same scratch it would take to grab a sack of sliders, you could be enjoying a hat-size bowl of broth, noodles, meat and veggies, Vietnamese-style. Tucked inside the obscure Golden Plaza, Superior Pho (nee Pho Hoa) was the city's first shop dedicated to this beefy brew. Others have jumped in since, but none can beat this bowl.

3030 Superior Ave., Cleveland,

216.781.7462

Best Way to Spend $32:

Twin Lobster Deal at Lobster Trap

The news is not all good at the new Lobster Trap, a glitzy redo of the tacky, barebones original: It is no longer BYOB. But fortunately for lobster lovers, the "twins" have made the move. For half the price of one crimson crustacean elsewhere, the Trap dishes up two fresh-steamed lobbies, soup, potato, warm rolls and butter. The bibs and crackers are tossed in free of charge.

9408 Ravenna Rd., Twinsburg,

330.425.2257

Deli: Gallucci's

A real live Italian grocery in the middle of the heart of rock 'n' roll. This is the place to go for fresh-baked bread and pastry, fresh produce and a mom-and-pop vibe. Plus, they have the Pelligrino orange soda that we buy by the case and would destroy communities for.

6610 Euclid Ave., Cleveland,

216.881.0045, gustgallucci.com

Health Food: Mustard Seed

This place is the Giant Eagle of good-for-you food. It has produce so fresh, it looks like it was grown out back. They have a whole WALL of hummus, and a deli/bakery/grill of prepared tofu (the barbecued tofu will make you a believer). Steve back there will give you the hook-up. Also, the vegan chocolate cookies are off the chain.

Two locations:

6025 Kruse Dr., Solon, 440.519.FOOD;

3885 W. Market St., Montrose,

330.666.7333; mustardseedmarket.com.

Best Pork Chop: Fire Food and Drink

We're not sure if it's the days-long marinade, the heritage pork, or the tandoor-oven preparation, but Holy Moses, if these ain't the best chops in town. A full three fingers thick and juicier than a mid-rare steak, these chops are as far removed from the thin, gray, parched flanks of your childhood as you can get. They're shellacked in a salty, fatty crust and served with a season-appropriate veg and starch, and we have trouble ordering anything else.

13220 Shaker Sq., Cleveland, 216.921.3473

Coffee: Phoenix

Multiple locations, phoenixcoffee.com

Bakery: Stone Oven

Multiple locations, stone-oven.com

Best Baguette: On the Rise Bakery

Just crust and crumb, yet quite possibly nature's finest food. A graduate of some fancy-pants New England baking school, owner Adam Gidlow has nearly perfected the art and craft of artisan bread making. His baguettes possess that elusive marriage of crusty exterior and lofty, chewy crumb. Ripped into chunks, topped with a schmear of soft cheese, and crammed into one's gaping maw, these baguettes evince Paris' finest.

3471 Fairmount Blvd., Cleveland Heights, 216.320.9923

Atmosphere: Pier W

12700 Lake Ave., Cleveland, 216.228.2250

CORNER ALLEY MARTINI - Take your strawberry martini bowling.

View: Ponte Vecchio

2100 Superior Viaduct, Cleveland, 216.556.8200, pontevecchioristorante.com

Reason to Visit Medina:

Thyme, the Restaurant

As opening chef of Three Birds, John Kolar landed that restaurant on Esquire magazine's list of 20 Best New Restaurants in America. As chef-owner of Thyme, his own spot in Medina, he's dishing up food nearly as good but infinitely cheaper. Luscious braised short ribs, macadamia-crusted grouper and Thyme's signature roasted chicken are just three in a long list of delicious reasons to make the drive south.

716 N. Court St., Medina, 330.764.4114

Wine List: Market Avenue Wine Bar

2526 Market Ave., Cleveland,

216.696.WINE, marketavewinebar.com

Outdoor Seating: Gamekeepers taverne

87 West St., Chagrin Falls, 440.247.7744, gamekeepers.com

Sin with your Clothes on: Lelolai Bakery

Sweet whipped-cream frosting, buttery yellow cake, milk syrup. If the devil himself could serve up a slice of heaven, this would be it. But you don't have to travel the River Styx to find this Nirvana. Just stop by Lelolai Bakery. The Cuban café also serves up incredible sandwiches (do not die until you've had a Cubano) as well as a dazzling assortment of exotic delicacies from chicharon (baked pork skin) to mantecaditos (short bread cookies). Brilliant, all of it.

1889 W. 25th St., 216.771.9956,

www.lelolaibakery.com

Wait Staff: Mallorca

1390 W. 9th St., Cleveland, 216.687.9494, clevelandmallorca.com

Restaurant Bar: Flying Fig

It's on the small side, but what this bistro bar lacks in stature it makes up for in spirit. The lengthy granite bar, staffed by a kinetic crew of mixologists, provides an ideal roost for owner Karen Small's menu of small plates. And lest we forget: This very bar is the only place in town to enjoy the Fig's free-handed happy hour, where select wines, cocktails and rations are priced to move.

2523 Market Ave., Ohio City, 216.241.4243

Bar Food: Becky's

1762 E. 18th St., Cleveland, 216.621.0055

Bartender: Ursula Allison at Garage

Long, dark brown hair, abs for days and an ass to write home about, this is just the beginning of our Best Bartender award winner, Ursula from the Garage Bar. Smart, funny and super hot.

1859 W 25th St., 216.696.7772,

garagebar.net

Best Breakfast Place to Take

Your Hook-Up To: LePeep

You slept in Garfield Heights, it's Sunday morning, you know, like 1 p.m., and you need a short stack. Right. Now. Wake up your boyfriend or your hook-up from last night. It's LePeep time. Put on your sunglasses, drag a comb through that mop. Le Peep will make you a short stack, or a juicy steak with home fries, or crepes to die for. And the 18 Wheeler will rock your socks off. Or order the breakfast sundae. Trust me. The best part: You'll be the envy of all the young parents there with the kiddies.

6080 Brecksville Rd., Independence,

216.642.4341, lepeep.com

ANATOMY - A new reason to hit the Warehouse District and detour from W. Sixth St.

Martini: Corner Alley

The Apple Pie, the Crème Brulee, the Leap Year or the Cajun. You pick, they mix, well over 20 types. One question, how do you manage your martini and your bowling ball?

402 Euclid Ave., Cleveland, 216.298.4070, corneralley.com

Best Reason to Hit W. Sixth Street:

Crop Bistro

Bar, bar, bar, pricey bistro, bar, bar, bar... Let's face it, this strip doesn't shine when it comes to offering good, rationally priced dinner options. At Crop, a newcomer, chef and owner Steve Schimoler has fun with his food - and so do his customers. Diners relish deviled eggs and ham, frothy crab lattes and the "Big Pile of Crop" pasta. And with cocktails like the Caprese martini, a layering of tomato-infused vodka, muddled basil and balsamic syrup, you can skip the salad course.

1400 W. Sixth St., Cleveland, 216.696.2767

Late-Night Eats: Lava Lounge

Great martinis and menu, Lava Lounge is so killer. They make a red sauce for the mussels that is out of this world! The interior is softly lit and the décor is very relaxing. Late night snacks are just the beginning!

1307 Auburn Ave., Cleveland,

216.589.9112, coolplacestoeat.com

Weekend Brunch: Lucky's Café

Have you seen those folks who have to keep their eggs segregated from their potatoes, the bacon three inches from the toast? Well, those OCDers would flip their wigs if they ordered the Shipwreck at Lucky's. A delicious disaster, this breakfast commingles golden-brown potatoes, scrambled eggs, bacon, white cheddar and a fistful of seasonal veggies in a deep earthenware crock. Equally sloppy and scrumptious are the scones crowned with scrambled eggs and sausage gravy.

777 Starkweather Ave., Tremont,

216.622.7773

GET OUT

Suburban Surprise: Budapest Blonde

Thirtysomethings sip Shiraz behind lush red velvet drapes that keep secrets inside. Languid lounge music thrums a background beat, sexy and low. Add a sultry nude pin-up and a martini or two and you've got one jazzin' martini/wine bar. But you're not in Tremont, baby. You're deep inside a strip mall in Independence. Nibbles? Sure (both kinds). But you'll find no beer in Budapest Blonde - just the very best cocktailing on the city's south side.

6901 Rockside Rd., 216.328.8780,

budapestblonde.com.

Best Lakeside Walk-About: Geneva-on-the-Lake

Geneva-on-the-Lake is a once-sexy biker chick hanging tight on back of that Harley despite being more than a few years past her prime. The faded lakefront resort throbs with the roar of V-twin engines from first thaw to first snowflake. This is people-watching at its very best. Hum the Stones' "Torn and Frayed" as you saunter past tattoo joints, plates piled high with fries from Eddie's Grill, and a sign touting the empty promise of "Dodgems." Hot lights Friday night and cold beer dirt cheap. Call that a perfect exile on Main Street.

visitgenevaonthelake.com

Best Guilty Pleasure: Heavy Metal Karaoke

Karaoke is killer enough. The twist here: you sing with a live band. YESSSS. Pick out your favorite Poison, Benatar or Whitesnake song and fuckin' jam. The live band is anchored by former Warrant member Billy Morris. Hot chicks that get up and sing, the Cars or something. It's always a good time, to sing or to make fun of people.

HiFi Club, 11729 Detroit Ave., Lakewood, 216.521.8878

Best New-Wave Hair-Do's: Davenport

The Davenport is one of the cooler new clubs to see live music. A remodeled dance studio in the basement of a shopping plaza, the Davenport has an underground, speakeasy feel. They book bands from literally all over the world, and locals as well. However, with any scene, there will be the scene abusers. They are the guys with the $89 blow-outs and the perfectly framed faces. They have bangs. No comment. Still a great place to see shows.

6287 Pearl Rd., Parma Heights,

myspace.com/davenportbar

Happy Hour: Blind Pig

1214 W. 6th St., Cleveland, theblindpig.com

Party Bar: McCarthy's

Great GEAUGA county FAIR - Mind-bogglingly huge, mind-bogglingly activity-packed.

This place is always packed and it always attracts the single, beautiful people. The music is loud and the beer is cold, and the bartenders are hot! McCarthy's books a lot of good cover and original bands, so keep your eyes peeled!

Two locations:

16918 Detroit Ave., Lakewood, 216.228.1340; 1231 Main Ave., 216.344.9099;

mccarthysalehouse.com

Place to Hear Blues: Savannah Bar & Grille

30676 Detroit Ave., Westlake, 440.892.2266

Indie Films: Cinematheque

11141 East Blvd., Cleveland, 216.421.7450,

cia.edu/cinematheque

Best Goth Bar: The Chamber

When you're here, you're family - as long as you're clad in a black vinyl bustier and torn fishnets. The Chamber in Lakewood is the gothest spot around. Let cool Cat the bartender light you up with a Tiki Torch before a bloody-hot tour on the dance floor or a private tête-à-tête at a dark corner table. Don't miss: DJ Darknave and the Legion of Terror on Fridays and the Industrial Revolution with DJ DyadFaerie on Saturdays.

11814 Detroit Ave., 216.228.7110,

www.lakewoodchamber.net

New Club: Anatomy

1299 W. 9th St., Cleveland, 216.363.1113,

anatomycleveland.com

Place to Dance: Velvet Dog

Without a doubt, the best place to groove. The interior is plush and perfectly lit. The music is an eclectic mix of Top 40, old- school jams and stuff you've never heard before. Pretty much every song is "my song" at the Velvet Dog. Dress hot.

1280 W 6th St., Cleveland, 216.664.1116,

velvetdogcleveland.com

Pick-Up Bar: Tequila Ranch

One word: "mechanical bull." One more: "tequila." If you can't land a chick or guy here, you may want to kill yourself. Hot chicks in various states of undress are dancing on the bar. Hot dudes travel in packs, too. Girls, don't be shy.

1229 W. 6th St., Cleveland, 216.556.8226, liquidliving.com

Juke Box: Prosperity Social Club

1109 Starkweather, Tremont, 216.937.1938, prosperitysocialclub.com

Wine Bar: 806

806 Literary, Tremont, 216.696.4806,

806bistro.com

Gay Bar: Argos

2032 W. 25th St., Cleveland, 216.781.9191,

club-argos.com

GROG SHOP - Cool shows almost every night of the week.

Gentlemen's: Thee Diamond Men's Club

Beautiful women, great tunes and the food is good, too! This place is extra awesome because it's off the well-worn path of the Flats. A buried treasure of g-strings and comfortable chairs, Diamond is always a good call. Just wipe all the glitter off before you leave. Dead giveaway.

1628 Fall St., Cleveland, 216.621.1840, diamondmensclub.com

Neighborhood Watering Hole (West): West Park Station

17015 Lorain Rd., Cleveland,

216.476.2000, myspace.com/westparkstation

Neighborhood Watering Hole (East): Scalpers Bar & Grill

5718 Mayfield Rd., Lyndhurst,

440.442.3577

Neighborhood Watering Hole (Downtown): Gillespie's Map Room

1281 W. 9th St., Cleveland, 216.621.7747

Patio (West): Around the Corner

18616 Detroit Rd., Lakewood,

216.521.4413, atccafe.com

Patio (East) Panini's Coventry

1825 Coventry Blvd., Cleveland Heights, 216.321.6444, paninisgrill.com

Patio (Downtown): The Garage Bar

1859 W. 25th St., 216.696.7772,

thegaragebar.net

Beer Selection: Winking Lizard

Multiple locations, winkinglizard.com

Sports Bar: Johnny Malloy's

Every game. They have every game you could ever imagine. Football, baseball, hockey, UFC, it's all there. There are televisions at every angle, so there's no such thing as a bad seat. And everyone's a fan here, so the energy is really good! They usually have food and drink specials during the games, so go nuts!

Multiple locations, johnnymalloys.com

Poshest Pre-game Perch: Lola

Located a short pass away from the Q, and a bunt from the Jake, Lola offers a mature but playful perch for your pre-game snacking and cocktailing. And with this city's most attentive staff, you'll never miss that opening pitch or tip-off.

2058 E. Fourth St., Cleveland,

216.621.5652

Least Pretentious Bar: Old Angle Tavern

1848 W. 25th St., Cleveland, 216.861.5643, oldangletavern.com

After-Hours Club: Mardi Gras

Lounge and Grill

1423 E. 21st St., Cleveland, 216.566.9094

JEROLD OPTICAL - Step right up; get yer quality glasses right here!

Best Racks: Blue Moose

It would seem that Hugh Hefner himself was doing the hiring at the Moose. There isn't a broad there without a bitchin' rack. Wednesday is Ladies Night, a.k.a. MILF Night. Just ask for Hootie McBoob's section when you get seated.

9387 W. Sprague, North Royalton, 440.888.9700

Movie Theater: Cedar Lee

2163 Lee Rd., Cleveland Heights, 440.564.2030, clevelandcinemas.com

Downtown Festival: Tri-C Music Fest

tri-c.edu/musicfest

Fair: The Great Geauga County Fair

They call it the "Great" Geauga County Fair for a reason. It's old - one of the US's oldest agricultural fairs, now in its 185th year - and it's big - its slogan is "You can't see it all in a day." So it gives you five days' worth of attractions spread across the sprawling Geauga County Fairgrounds in Burton. It features all the standard fair attractions only seemingly way more of them, including always-sold-out demolition derbies, tractor pulls, harness racing, skydiving exhbitions, fresh-faced 4-H kids showing off their gardening and sewing projects, local singers dreaming American Idol dreams and appearances by weatherman Dick Goddard. If you're from Geauga or adjoining counties, you'll run into your neighbors - no one misses the Geauga County Fair.

geaugafair.com

Pool Hall: House of Cues

740 W. Superior, Cleveland, 216.241.8200, houseofcues.com

Metal Club: Jigsaw Saloon

There's no better place in Northeast Ohio for a metal-hard rock club than Parma. The Jigsaw Saloon, a former bowling alley, takes advantage of the fact that that city probably boasts more metalheads per square mile than any other. Unlike some past West Side rock clubs, which tended to be run-down, small and lacking in amenities, the Jigsaw offers a spacious concert room with a big stage and PA and excellent sight ines. It also has an adjoining restaurant with the plain old American bar-style food most rockers enjoy and a large back patio for those who want to escape the music and chill.

5324 State Rd., Parma, 216.351.3869, myspace.com/jigsawsaloon

Indie Club: Grog Shop

You have to rack your brain really hard to remember what the old Coventry Arabica looked like since the Grog completely transformed the space. The sullen barristas used to grouch at customers from roughly the area that's now the stage, right? But it doesn't matter: Kathy Simkoff has built a magnificent house in Cleveland Heights, a venue equally fit for event shows and local upstarts alike, making it a better-than-worthy lone heir to the crucial function it once shared with its near-neighbor, the long-gone Euclid Tavern.

2785 Euclid Heights Blvd., Cleveland, 216.321.5588, grogshop.gs

Jam Night: Parkview

1261 W. 58th St., Cleveland, 216.961.1341, parkviewniteclub.com

Jazz: Wonder Bar

2044 E. 4th St., Cleveland, 216.298.4690, wonderbarcleveland.com

Hear Hip-Hop: Anatomy

1299 W. 9th St., Cleveland, 216.363.1113, anatomycleveland.com

See Local Bands: Beachland

15711 Waterloo Rd., Cleveland,

216.383.1124, beachlandballroom.com

Best House of Vampires: House Kheperu

Who needs Dracula and LeStat? Northeast Ohio has its very own group of practicing Vampires - energy Vampires, that is. The ultra-chic, ultra-selective House Kheperu hails from Medina, of all places. But don't expect fake fangs and buckets of blood. Instead start at their Web site, kheperu.org, and read House Elder Michelle Belanger's "Online Codex." This brilliant document will have you riveted to your screen, glancing up at the full moon and thirsting for more.

haunted house: 7 floors of hell

Cuyahoga County Fairgrounds, 440.243.FEAR, 7floorsofhell.com

LOGANBERRY - Books A paradise for the lover of the old and obscure book.

Museum (tie): Cleveland Museum of Art

11150 East Boulevard, Cleveland., 888.CMA.0033, clevelandart.org

Museum (tie): Rock and Roll Hall of Fame and Museum

1 Key Plaza, 751 Erieside Ave., Cleveland, 216.781.ROCK, rockhall.com

Art Gallery: Asterisk

When Tremont's Inside Gallery closed, it was a tough loss; though the gallery scene there is much-heralded, few galleries offered the consistent quality and unfailingly strong curatorial viewpoint of Insight. When Dana Depew opened his Asterisk Gallery in the same location, art enthusiasts started breathing a little easier. Asterisk has been almost as consistently excellent - missteps have been the result of adventurousness rather than ball-dropping - and generally, an exhibit there can be counted on to be worth seeing. Few other galleries, in Tremont or elsewhere, have set such a high bar.

2393 Professor Ave., Cleveland.,

330.304.8528, asteriskgallery.com

Best Public Art: "Cleveland Venus"

Jim Dine's semi-nude "Cleveland Venus" stands 37 feet high and welcomes all who enter the Carl B. Stokes Federal Courthouse on the corner of Huron and Superior. The statue is armless and headless, but she does have an nice rack, which has fueled the ire of feminists and just regular womenfolk since the piece was unveiled in October 2003. Whether you call it a deconstruction of the famed Venus De Milo or a blatant commentary on sexuality, in the end the piece succeeds beautifully as it offers stunning contrast to the austere lines of the courthouse and evokes emotion and opinion from all who see it.

Best Friday Freebie: MOCA

The Museum of Contemporary Art Cleveland turns its admission dial from $4 to zero every Friday. MOCA's galleries feature the evocative work of Julie Moos and Diana Cooper through December. On November 2, "Meditations: Remembering Injustice" opens with the work of the late Masumi Hayashi. Considering Hayashi's voice was tragically silenced, you can call that priceless. Once you become a MOCA fan, you'll be back again and again - and you'll find yourself dropping dollars in the collection box even when you don't have to.

8501 Carnegie, 216.421.8671,

www.mocacleveland.org

Performing Arts Group:

Cleveland Public Theatre

6415 Detroit Ave., Cleveland,

216.631.2727, cptonline.org

Live Music: Agora Theater

5000 Euclid Ave., Cleveland, 216.881.6911, clevelandagora.com

Ski: Boston Mills

7100 Riverview Rd., Peninsula, 800.875.4241, BMBW.com

Hike: Cuyahoga Valley National Park

15610 Vaughn Rd., Brecksville,

216.524.1497, cvnpa.org

SkateBoard: Lakewood Park

14532 Lake Ave., Lakewood, 216.228.3044, lkwdskaters.org

Bike: Canal Towpath

520 S. Main St., Akron, 330.434.5657, ohioeriecanal.org

Beach: Mentor headlands state park

9601 Headlands Rd., Mentor, 440.257.1331

Grady SIZEMORE - He's cute and gifted.

Park: North Chagrin Reservation

Mayfield Village, Willoughby Hills and Gates Mills; clemetparks.com

Golf: Manakiki

35501 Eddy Rd., Willoughby Hills, 440.942.2500, clemetparks.com

Place to take out-of-town Guests:

Cavs or Indians playoff games

(Or, as one wise guy suggested, "Chicago.")

SERVICES & STUFF

Car Audio: Auto Sound security and accessories

35535 Euclid Ave., Willoughby,

440.915.1440, autosoundohio.com

Optical: Jerold Optical

You can stuff your shopping-mall two-pairs-for-the-price-of-one-in-an-hour scam. Jerold does things old-school, and with glasses, old-school is the right way. Even their least expensive frames will last you awhile, and while it might annoy some to wait a week for lenses, tell me an on-site custom grind isn't better than readymades that aren't exactly your prescription, but hey, don't worry, they're close! Jerold's been in its original Huron Road location for over 60 years, and its longevity is well-deserved.

800 Huron Rd., Cleveland,

216.781.7900, jeroldoptical.com

Massage: River Therapeutic Massage

Here, getting stoned really is good for you. It's called a hot stone massage, and the therapists at River Therapeutic Massage relish their role as healers, versus just making their clients feel good. "It's sort of like doing medical detective work," says one therapist there. "You find the source of the problem, then follow it through a course of treatment." The center also offers Raiki, the practice of channeling energy through the hands. Also offered are traditional massage sessions.

27540 Detroit Rd. #202, Westlake,

440.899.7399, rivertherapeuticmassage.com.

Auto Dealer: Ganley Chevrolet

15315 Lorain Ave., Cleveland,

216.671.1620, ganleychevy.com

Jewelry: Lion and Blue

15106 Detroit Ave., Lakewood,

216.529.2328

Hotel: Ritz Carlton

1515 W. 3rd St., Cleveland,

216.623.1300, ritzcarlton.com

Furniture Store: Design Union

26000 Richmond Rd., Bedford Heights,

216.464.1600, designunion.com

Tattoos: Voodoo Monkey

CAIN PARK ARTS FEST - Browsing among the shady trees.

2074 W. 25th St., Cleveland, 216.664.5858, voodoomonkey.org

Book Store: Liberty Books

With no professional barista in the back, or mountains of synergized products at the entrance, Liberty Books is truly for book-lovers only. It boasts the region's largest magazine collection (we even found the obscure and fledgling Asian-American publication out of California, Hyphen, in the stands!). A cold brown stone floor holds unadorned valleys of shelves and books. If you still need some sort of fix, go to the cappuccino machine, on a counter with packets of cream and sugar, and plop on the couches.

19300 Detroit Rd., Rocky River, 216.458.5860

Used Books: Loganberry

This used book store is a maze of comfortable rooms with the well-worn feeling of an old library and plenty of nooks and furniture to just sit and browse. It's packed with books both popular and obscure, and you're bound to discover at least one essential book you never knew you needed. It's especially strong in the arts, and features lots of art on display, and for sale, as well.

13015 Larchemere Blvd., Shaker Heights, 216.795.9800, loganberrybooks.com

Dry Cleaner: D.O. Summers

Multiple locations, dosummers.com

New Clothing: Girl Next Door

19034 Detroit Rd., Rocky River,

440.331.4025

Vintage Clothing: Chelsea's

There are vintage and used clothing stores and then there's Chelsea's. With rack after rack of era- and style- and color-sorted clothing stretching to the rafters this place can help you assume any role you want for any occasion, right down to the smallest accessory. Just be warned: at Halloween the place is swamped so get there early if you have your heart set on a particular costume.

1412 W. 116th St., Cleveland, 216.226.9147

Hardware: Ingersoll

19333 Detroit Rd., Rocky River,

440.331.6200, ingersoll.doitbest.com

Adult Video: Adult Mart

Multiple locations, adultmart.com

Shoe Store: Cerny's

15002 Detroit Ave., Lakewood, 216.226.4361, cernyshoes.com

Pet Store: Pet-Tique

Pet-Tique has moved around a bit since landing in its current and seemingly permanent home on Clifton Road near the Detroit-Lakewood border. Starting in an off-the-beaten-path location in Tremont and the moving to the former small business incubator mall across from the West Side Market than now houses Beir Markt, it's constantly expanded its stock of unusual items for pets and their owners, whether it's disinctive collars, organic doggie treats or toys cat and owner can enjoy together.

10906 Clifton Blvd., Cleveland,

216.631.2050, pettique.com

Bike Shop: Spin

Two locations:

14515 Madison Ave., Lakewood,

216.521.7746; 4144 Erie St., Willoughby,

440.951.7746; spinbikeshop.com

Motorcycle: Harley of Cleveland

JAKE KELLY - By Jake Kelly.

14550 Lorain Ave., Cleveland.,

216.252.3111, harleydavidsoncleveland.com

Hair Salon: The Studio

1887 Fulton Rd., Cleveland, 216.281.1887,

thestudiosalon.biz

Spa: Spa West

29109 Center Ridge Rd., Westlake,

440.899.SPAW, spawestohio.com

Sporting Goods: Ohio Surf and Skate

36495 Vine St., Willoughby, 440-975-1933

Nursery: Gale's Garden Centers

Multiple locations, galesgarden.com

Vinyl: My Mind's Eye

As music fans abandon CDs for digital files, archivally minded music heads, keenly aware that hard drives crash and records don't, are embracing vinyl yet again. And at My Mind's Eye, one can not only find pretty much any new vinyl release or reissue worth discussing, one can easily spend an afternoon perusing the used section marveling at the rarities, obscurities and classics, all priced to move. Though the store's die-hard rockist conception means that dance singles are largely out of the question, it's pan-rockist; fans of Angel and Anal Cunt both have a welcoming home at My Mind's Eye.

13727 Madison Ave., Lakewood,

216.521.6660, mymindseyerecords.com

CDs: The Exchange

Still goin' strong, and still the hub for posters, T-shirts and cheap used and new CDs and DVDs. They sell electronics as well. The best part of the Exchange is the staff. Well-versed in everything musical, this should be your one-stop shop for all things audio and visual.

Multiple locations

Music Shop: Heights Guitar

2128 Lee Rd.,

Cleveland Heights,

216.397.7700,

heightsguitars.com

Buy Art: Cain Park Arts Fest

There are plenty of art fairs on the crowded summer calendar of varied quality but none provides a nicer ambience than the venerable Cain Park Arts Festival the second weekend in July. With artists' booths set up along the park's tree-shaded paths, entertainment going on in Evans Amphitheater all weekend and a varied selection of eats from local emporiums, the event makes for a nice family day out, anchored by 150 artists and craftsman from across the country offering wares ranging from sentimental and traditional to trendy and edgy.

Cleveland Heights, cainpark.com

PEOPLE

Visual Artist: Jake Kelly

When he's not doing the odd strip, serial or spot illustration for the Free Times, Jake's developing a fearsome and ever-growing mastery of the language of sequential art. The proof is in his self-published zines, multitudinous concert flyers and a fantastic recent exhibit at Visible Voice. You don't have to look too far to find his work, so look already.

Actor: Mark Mayo

Mark Mayo earned his way to an Equity card on local stages, finally crossing that threshold with the Cleveland Playhouse/ Fusion Festival production of Custody of the Eyes. But he's earned critical praise at theaters all over the region, from Shakespeare at the Factory to Bang and the Clatter's Ohio premiere of the sexcapade Red Light Winter.

Poet: Amy Sparks

BRADY QUINN - A hopeful question mark.

Sparks earns her fans quietly, not hustling for attention on the slam circuit, but attending to image and metaphor in a way that caused Kathleen Kisner to call her poems "dangerous" and to describe her as "that rare phenomenon - a literary poet."

amybrackensparks.blogspot.com

SPORTS TEAM: INDIANS

cleveland.indians.mlb.com

INDIAN: Grady Sizemore

Some might scoff that he gets so much attention largely because of his youthful good looks. And surely being "cute" hasn't hurt him. But it ain't brown eyes and that smile we see when he's running down a ball in centerfield; it's a tremendously gifted athlete who loves what he does, and there are few things more beautiful than that.

Brown: Brady Quinn

At press time, the Mighty Quinn had not thrown a pass in the heat of a meaningful game. But Browns fans are nothing if not hopeful, and Quinn looks like the first real light in the dark tunnel through which the diehards have wandered for far too long.

Cavalier (tie): LeBron James and Daniel Gibson

Ties are usually annoyingly unsatisfying, but what could be more fitting than recognizing both the king and the previously overlooked knight who helped the king slay the evil dragon from Detroit?

Male Anchor: John Anderson,

Channel 3 News

Female Anchor: Stacey Bell, Fox 8

Talk Radio: Mike Trivisonno, WTAM 1100 AM

Music Radio Station: WNCX 98.5 FM

Radio DJ: Bill Louis, WNCX

Sometimes nice guys do finish first. Louis does it old-school, without sidekicks or strippers, and we love him for it.

Weather Person: Mark Nolan,

Channel 3 News

News Commentary: Bill Applegate,

19 Action News

Hair: Romona Robinson, Channel 3 News

News Program: Channel 3 News

Sports: Chuck Galetti, 19 Action News

Columnist: Phillip Morris, The Plain Dealer

Let's be honest: The bar for PD Metro section columnists has not been very high for a while. Still, Morris has treated the coveted post with the respect it deserves, offering insight and original reporting, and never hesitating to point a finger at anyone, whether noble or commoner, who can do better.

College Radio: WRUW 91.1 FM

Brilliant fuckin' station, absolutely brilliant. For 40 years now, their commitment to diverse programming and a perfect balance between student DJs with their noses to the indie grindstone, assorted weirdos who'll play 20 minute Uruguayan horse-penis flute solos and alter-kakers with deep knowledge of whatever genre they're flogging has made 91.1 FM one of Cleveland's absolute must-listens.