Now there's one more thing to do during band breaks at the Beachland: complete your Christmas shopping at the month-old Shoparooni (15813 Waterloo Rd., 216.383.3633, shoparooni.com). Much of its array of inexpensive gift-type items is made by craftspeople from as far as Australia and as close as Cleveland; proprietors Steve and Marlee Brown are committed to avoiding mass-produced items as much as possible. And though they also plan to get in new stuff rather than restock what's sold, they're definitely restocking their best-seller, the Scrabble necklace made by Portland, Oregon designers. Each features a Scrabble tile enameled with colorful every-one-different Japanese-influenced designs - primarily floral, but fish and rabbits also appear. Each is hung on a dainty ribbon and comes in a tin with its lid papered in a complimentary design. They're just this side of too adorable, perfect for little and big girlie-girls. They're $15.95. - AP

Heights Arts Gallery (2163 Lee Rd., 216.371.3457, heightsarts.org), has been transformed into a Christmas store, with all locally produced fine art, crafts, jewelry, CDs and books, including Amy Fishbach's artist books, each one of a kind. One group features CD album art as covers (her tastes run clearly to alt country/Americana with artists such as the Cowslingers, Hayseed Dixie and Abigail Washburn), with pages of differently textured art papers color-coordinated to the CD cover art, and decorated with buttons and beads, each $28. She's got others ranging from $14-$30, including a real-size Bandaid-box book with red, white and blue pages and an inner pocket containing a Bandaid that turns out to be a tiny book. - AP

At Something Different (1899 W. 25th St., 216.696.5226), owner Koula Lazar will greet you with a glass of white wine or soda with a frozen strawberry and eagerly show you unique items from Germany, Italy, Greece, Australia, Israel and Denmark. From France, she's got the Lampe Berger line of odor-destroyers - not your average Wal-Mart room freshener, to say the least. The 109-year-old line features 120 designs of glass, stoneware, porcelain and ceramic vessels by top French designers ranging from painted, Victorian-style mini-vases to translucent glass perfume-bottle designs to sleek, modern ceramic hearts. Each contains a stone burner and wick that disperse one of 40 custom fragrances. Some run as high as $6,000 but most are $70-$150. And don't leave without picking up some of the store's custom-designed holiday cards of wintry Cleveland scenes. It commissions a new one each year; all 20 in stock go for $3 and $5.95. - AP

Think about this: Next Christmas George Bush won't be president anymore. Oh, he'll have a few weeks left in his term, but the need to vent one's frustration through bumper stickers, fridge magnets and other tchotchkes will be gone. So this is the last year to gift your friends with anti-Bush novelties such as the Bush seed packets issued by the Funny Times in Cleveland Heights, and available at Big Fun (1814 Coventry Rd., Cleveland Heights, 216.371.4386). They've got Global Warming Bush: Seeds of Environmental Destruction, Soldier Bush Beans and Texas Homegrown Dope: The Best Dope Money Can Buy, all for only a buck. Planting depth? "Extremely shallow." Planting time? "When Dick Cheney says so." For those who want to prepare for a potential new administration, Big Fun's also got the Hillary Nutcracker - "thighs of steel, cracks the toughest nuts" - an actual functional nutcracker in navy pantsuit and pearls, $24.95. Of course, not everything at Big Fun is political. Those who forgot everything they learned in Hebrew school the day after their bar or bat mitzvah will love the pocket-sized keychain Say-a-Blessing. Press one of its labeled buttons and it issues the correct blessing in both Hebrew and English for hand-washing, wine/grape juice, fish/ meat/milk/eggs/dairy, fruit, vegetables, bread/rolls and "other baked goods," as well as a "short blessing" for the impatient. It even comes with two "bonus prayers" and an LED flashlight for those midnight snacks. Just $14.95. - AP

Bodhisattvas lounge on your left, Buddhas laugh on your right. A fierce dragon sails overhead. Indonesia? No, but close. It's City Buddha (1863 W. 25th St., 216.241.6416, and 1807 Coventry Rd., Cleveland Heights, 216.397.5862, citybuddha.com), where exotic from the east meets affordable in the west. Fearsome masks go from $8-$42 with plenty of twentysomethings in between. There's a whole wall of earrings for about $4 a pair. Add praying hands for $7, moon box for $3.95 or a silk purse for the sow's ear price of just three bucks and you're just getting started in this tchotchke heaven! - EO

Mac's Backs (1820 Coventry Rd., Cleveland Heights, 216.321.2665, macsbacks.com) is a book lover's paradise. Just browsing the used titles in the basement can blow an afternoon, but buying an armful of gifts won't blow your budget. Give someone the answer to Michael Moore's question Dude, Where's my Country or Germaine Green's secrets of The Female Eunuch for $6 each. Fawn Brodie's Richard Nixon will run you $7.98, but her Thomas Jefferson is only $3.50. And Lee Iacocca on Lee Iacocca? $2.50. Or if someone on your list would rather bust a move, Christy Lane's Compete Book of Line Dancing is only $6.98. So yes, Virginia, there is a book for everybody. - EO

MOCA has its share of surprises but none is more darling than Art Space (8501 Carnegie, 216.421.8671, mocacleveland.org), the museum's ultra-cool gift shop. There's the $5 Art-o-mat, the $10 set of mah-velous designer golf balls, and the neon clothespin chop sticks for six bucks. This place has nowhere-else kid stuff as well (who knew?). Ugly dolls are cute as can be for $6-$20, rainbow liquid soap pillows are $9 for the set and fingerpaint bubble bath in containers shaped like crayons are just $2 each. Come for the art, stay for the shopping. - EO

Where can you find a Spiritual Guide for $1.35? This incense of the same name from Ambergram Metaphysical Center (8071 Broadview Rd., Parma, 440.526.3011) promises heavenly moods and celestial heights. Or how about a powerful rock? Tiger Eye ($1.85) will "draw money" and "protect against the evil eye." And for 85 cents, a pink Botswana agate will kick up love, sensuality and fertility (woot!). Anointing oils? Got a whole wall of 'em. Mars, Marriage or Midnight run around $3 each. Tarot decks range from $12-$100. A baggie of brimstone is $1.35 and a healthy handful of cosmic dust is $3.50. Amen, sister. Call for hours. - EO

Lakewood's Local Girl Gallery, 16106 Detroit Rd., 216.228.1802, localgirlgallery.com) is all about handcrafted artwork from area artists. It's fun and fresh and eclectic, with baubles and bangles sparkling everywhere, many for under $20. There's earrings galore in that range or how about a subtle glass nature pendant for $18? A Victorian-style crystal and silver necklace can be had for $25 and flower pins crafted from wool felt are $5. Pottery and glass dazzle at every turn. Precocious piggy banks are $17, hand-painted tiles, $20, and a vial of "Hidden Gems of Lake Erie Beach Glass and Findings" is only $6.50. And every item is a one-of-a-kind.

Wonder how Mr. and Mrs. Claus keep the fire going? Ambiance, the Store for Lovers (eight locations, 866.739.8477, storeforlovers.com), has friendly and knowledgeable staffers who put even the most bashful customers at ease. The merchandise caters to every penchant on any budget. Start your nice little elf off with Sizzling Body Candy, $5.99. Add the Pulsa Ball Vibrating Bath Sponge, $11.99, and a drop of Pink silicone lubricant, $18.99, for the perfect holiday cocktail. Naughty novelties abound as well, so get as frisky as you want from there, but don't miss the pricier Liberator line. Now that's fun for your money. - EO

EAT, DRINK AND BE MERRY

Uh, let's see: Well-meaning hobbyist or Iron Chef? No offense to other cooking class instructors, but having a bona fide Iron Chef as a teacher pretty much kicks ass. Despite his newfound fame, Michael Symon intends to continue his intimate monthly cooking classes, which are held in the demonstration kitchen above Lolita restaurant (900 Literary Rd., 216.771.5652). Buy that celeb-obsessed home cook a gift card to Lola or Lolita and they can use it to cover the cost of an upcoming class. A new schedule is due out after the holidays. - DT

Buy a man a beer and he enjoys a brief buzz. Teach a man to brew and he will be drunk for a lifetime. The Brew-Your-Own Session at Brew Kettle (8377 Pearl Rd., Strongsville, 440.239.8788, thebrewkettle.com) offers recipes, ingredients and assistance from acclaimed brewmaster (and owner) Chris McKim. Novices will have no problem turning out fantastic renditions of their favorite beer styles. One two-hour brew session, followed by a return visit to bottle, is all it takes to fill your icebox with sweet, delicious, made-by-me beer. - DT

The perfect gift for a fussy organic friend can be found at Mustard Seed Market (Uptown Solon Shopping Center, 6025 Kruse Dr., Solon, 440.519.3663, and West Market Plaza, 3885 W. Market St., Akron, 330.666.7333, mustardseedmarket.com). Build a beautiful basket from their bountiful wall of bulk with selections such as rice cracker mix, $3.99/lb., cranberry crunch, $7.59 lb. or Tex Mex mix for $6.59/lb. The Seed's also got Burt's Bees (and bees and bees and bees!) in their extensive organic beauty section. Every girl will love luscious Marshmallow Vanishing Cream, $14.99; the Rosemary Mint Shampoo Bar, $5.99; or Lip Shimmer, $3.99. - EO

Grab bag of great (yes, great) Ohio Wines

AMBIaNCE - Baby dolls for big girls.

Markko Vineyard 2003 Chardonnay Select Reserve: This Conneaut-produced Chardonnay has a clean varietal character that can hold its own against the best in the country. Produced from European Vinifera grapes, with rich color and fully developed flavor, this is the real deal. $36.

St. Joseph Vineyard 2005 Reserve Pinot Noir: Dark and jammy with loads of ripe fruit, this Grand River Valley pinot noir will turn your opinions about dry red Ohio wines sideways.

Kinkead Ridge 2005 Cabernet Franc: The unglaciated limestone ridges near the Ohio River in Ripley produce world-class grapes. And in the hands of an experienced winemaker like Ron Barrett, that fruit becomes world-class wine. $18.

Ferrante Winery Grand River Valley Vidal Blanc Ice Wine: Only a few places in the world can produce high-quality ice wine, and Geneva happens to be one of them. Produced from fruit frozen on the vine, this honey-scented dessert wine is rich and delicious. $29.

Book sampler for Northeast Ohio foodies (and winos)

Cleveland Ethnic Eats (Gray & Co., $13.95) Now in its seventh edition, food writer Laura Taxel's exhaustive guide to ethnic restaurants and markets in and around Cleveland belongs in every home. With close to 400 different entries covering 50 different cultures, the book is like a United Nations version of the Yellow Pages.

Cleveland Food Memories (Gray & Co., $17.95) Hough Bakery birthday cakes, Mawby's hamburgers and milkshakes, New York Spaghetti House brown sauce - if the mere mention of these make you blubber with nostalgia, this book will leave you weeping. Gail Bellamy's text is a scrapbook of Cleveland's finest food moments, overlaid with witty prose and keen observation.

Ohio Wine Country Excursions (Emmis Books, $25) A comprehensive guide to over 60 Ohio wineries, complete with maps, photos and an intriguing summary of this state's storied wine-producing past. - DT

CHAPTER AND VERSE

You can't help but smile and reap the rewards as you look through Bob Eckstein's exhaustive and lovingly researched The History of the Snowman (Simon and Schuster, hardcover, $14.95). The building of snowmen is as common as skipping rocks, and as rooted in nostalgia, but of course immortalized in holiday images advertising everything from heating coal to laxatives. His research has uncovered amusing and obscure facts, from the fact that blowing up snowmen is a legal holiday in Switzerland to the location of what is claimed to be the "world's largest snowman house," in Beardmore, Ontario. Eckstein is a humor writer who has appeared in the New Yorker and the Village Voice, but Antiques Road Show appraiser Gary Sohmers describes this bit of long-form nonfiction as "a priceless collection of very important useless information." - MG

Look into just about any area of Cleveland professional sports and you could find something that's a long time coming. Take Gregory Deegan's Surviving the Drought (Cleveland Landmarks Press, paperback, $18.50). Deegan looks at Cleveland sports in terms of the loyalty and tenacity of its fans. In a city that hasn't had a national championship in professional sports in 43 years, he looks at how they've coped, how they've hoped, and why they keep coming back. In the words of Cleveland Cavaliers' legend Bingo Smith, Cleveland fans are unique because "even if you don't win a championship, if they know you're doing the best you can, they still come out to support you." - MG

Whether you're doing it or talking about doing it, you just about can't fail to get a kick out of masturbation. Anything that makes the individual in private so comfortable and in public so uncomfortable is rich in opportunity for humor, and author Jamye Waxman doesn't ignore that in Getting Off (Seal Press, paperback, $14.95) - mostly in punny packaging of sections with terminology like "toys for twats" - but the real thrust here is thoroughly exploring the taboo subject in common, very frank language. There are anatomical explorations, descriptions of technique and all manner of toys, and an essay on fantasy, with samples from a whole bunch of women. It wouldn't be right for you to give this book to just any woman, but for the right one, it's the ultimate guide to "polishing your pearl." - MG

"Blame it on steam," begins Greg McDonnel in the acknowledgements to the lavishly photographed and romance packed Lake Boats (Boston Mills Press, hardcover, $40). It was his quest to find and board the Lower Lakes Towing Company's SS Cuyahoga - one of just four boats powered by reciprocating steam engines which in 1999 remained active on the Great Lakes - that inspired him to write the book. What resulted is a visually stunning collection of photos, facts and lore abut the captains, crews and thousand-foot ships that plough the Great Lakes, delivering raw materials from port to port. In Cleveland we see these vessels slide and bump with tugboats up the Cuyahoga, or out in the territory of the Five Mile Crib. In this fine coffee-table volume, he portrays them hard at work throughout the Great Lakes - their shapes, their engines, their gigantic proportions, the gleam of polished brass instruments and the rust-aging riveted seams. It's a great book for anyone who appreciates the machinery that pulls the Rust Belt together. - MG

Those who recall the glory days of Cleveland rock radio probably also remember air personality Maria Farina, who these days lends her voice to ads for JC Penney, the Cleveland Clinic and others. In her spare time she's started a series of gothic stories, which she's calling the Gypsy Chronicles, the first volume of which, titled The Grave Robber (Iuniverse, Inc., paperback, $14.95), introduces the local gypsy and tarot reader Trudi MacKenzie. All was quiet in her Western Pennsylvania town until someone started (cue the spooky music) raising the dead. It's Ms. MacKenzie's job to communicate between the human and spirit worlds to broker something like peace. Farina has an easy way with casual language, and a fluid conversational rhythm that makes this a breezy, light read. - MG

"I do not kiss and tell," says Courtney Love in her author's note to Dirty Blonde (Faber and Faber, paperback, $20). "But the wild pirate life I have led gave me many great adventures." What follows in her book, just released in paperback, is the evidence left in the wake of her childhood, adolescence and life with Nirvana front man Kurt Cobain in photos, postcards, ripped notebook pages and other scraps of an extreme life. Created as a scrapbook for public viewing - complete with printed patches of varnish that look like the tape that holds it together - it's an odd window on a complicated life, laid bare in all its now-familiar trauma and tragedy. - MG