Music

Volume 15, Issue 47
Published March 26th, 2008

Soundcheck

Robert Schimmel

Comedian

Robert Schimmel has been through the gauntlet and back. He survived a heart attack in 1998 and then 10 days after his pilot was given the green light by Fox in 2000, he was diagnosed with cancer. His marriage fell apart shortly after that. Now, Schimmel, 57, is making a comeback. His cancer is in remission, and he's back on the stand-up trail. In addition, Schimmel has written the amusing book Cancer on $5 a Day, in which he makes light of his tribulations. Perhaps his most significant accomplishment is marrying his daughter's best friend, who is just two years older than his first born, something he acknowledged in a recent phone interview. - Ed Condran

Congratulations. You're living the fantasy the guy from American Beauty dreamt of. You knocked up your daughter's friend.

It's amazing that I'm a father again. I have one testicle and I had chemotherapy. I was told there was no way I would become a father again, but it happened.

It's too bad you got divorced since your first wife was good for your material. Do you still joke about your family?

My ex-wife thought it would be a great idea if our 16-year-old daughter lived with me so she could ruin my marriage. My daughter is a mini-version of my ex-wife. It's rough but it's good for material.

Who would ever think that cancer could be funny. The stuff you do about the disease is killer, pardon the pun.

It's still very much on my mind. I'm not cured. My doctor said if I get run over by a bus and die, then I'm cured. My situation gave me a lot of perspective. In Hollywood, you're nothing without a Rolls Royce, a Rolex or a place in Malibu. I discovered you can't take a Bentley into a hospital room. All of those things don't make your life better. Cancer has had such an impact on my stand-up. The difficult makes for good comedy. Look at Richard Pryor. He grew up in a brothel. He was in really adverse situations and he made it funny. People who live happy, stress-free lives generally aren't funny.

Much of comedy is about timing. Everything seemed to be going your way at the start of the decade. Your pilot Schimmel was set to run behind The Simpsons. You made your third comedy album, Unprotected, for Warner Brothers. And then disaster struck. How did you deal with the fact that everything was going well and then you're diagnosed with cancer?

It was very hard. I lived through a comic's nightmare come true. I had everything you could want. We did the pilot and then I got diagnosed. It was to premiere in the fall of 2000 but I was too sick to work on it. Then Fox said they could do it as a mid-season replacement but I was still sick from chemo. Then it got bumped back to the following summer but the option for the other cast members was up. But I wasn't concerned with the show as much as living.

What do you remember about the day you were diagnosed?

That we make the same BS promise to God that you make the first time you get really drunk and sick. "Oh God, let me get through this and I'll never drink again." You think, "God, if I get through this I'll eat right and exercise and be a better person and live life to the fullest." Isn't it sad that you have to get that sick in order to get permission to live life to the fullest?

Could you maintain your sense of humor when you heard the diagnosis?

I did the best that I could. The doctor told me that if I waited much longer to come in or if the treatment wasn't successful I would have less than a year to live. I told the doctor back then, "That's alright. I've been married for 23 years. I stopped living a long time ago."

How did you break into comedy?

I visited my sister in Los Angeles and went to a comedy club, the Improv. I did two minutes on amateur night and the owner of the club said I was funny and I could come back in and do stand-up whenever I wanted. So I went home to Arizona and told my wife that I was quitting my job as a stereo salesman and we were moving to LA so I could do stand-up. We sold the house and when we drove into LA the first thing I wanted her to see was the Improv, which burned to the ground the prior evening.

You auditioned for the part of George on Seinfeld. How different do you think your life would have been if you'd have landed the role?

The one downside is that I wouldn't be me anymore. I would be George. I love working nightclubs and theaters, and it would have been weird for fans of that show coming down to see me because my act would have been so different than anything George would do. It would be like me playing Barney on that kid's TV show and fans coming to see Barney do his show at the theater. I would be onstage and they would come in and hear, "Well, when I'm masturbating..." It wouldn't go over well. I would be in a situation like Jimmie Walker was after he did Good Times.

When you worked on In Living Color was it evident that Jim Carrey was going to be such a massive star?

Oh yeah. He was on all the time and he was one of the few cast members who actually participated in writing sketches. He gave everything he had. It was obvious he was going to go through the roof. A lot of people don't know this but Jennifer Lopez was one of our Flygirls. Rosie Perez was the head Flygirl and she was the choreographer.

It's amazing that your pilot, which featured you as a stereo salesman, made it on air, considering that you seem like an uncompromising performer who would rub Hollywood the wrong way. Is there anything Fox wouldn't let you get away with on your show?

I wanted to have an African-American wife but on one condition. It never comes up in the show. There would be no watermelon or barbecue jokes. There's no scene where her family asks why she married a white guy. I just wanted two people who love each other and that's it. Fox never said yes to that. They asked who I was trying to appeal to. I was trying to appeal to everybody.

How badly do you want another shot at a sitcom?

I don't need a television show to be happy like people around here. The greatest thing is that I get to make people laugh onstage. Not only that, my act is deeper. When people see your average comic, they don't leave with anything but jokes. You ask them about the comedian and they say he's funny. That's it. With me you get to know something about myself after you see me.

What is your greatest honor?

I was reading The New Yorker. They asked Jerry Lewis who makes him laugh and he said Robert Schimmel. That blew me away. When I was a kid I wrote him and asked for his autograph. I always loved his work and he says he likes to watch me. Him saying that reminds me that I'm living a dream. Sure, one part of my life is a nightmare but the other side is this dream, which is so unbelievable. You can't have dreams without nightmares.

music@freetimes.com