Hillary lost my vote when she slammed Obama for saying Midwesterners are bitter, unemployed and obsessing angrily over guns and religion. Dude sure describes me pretty much. And when a vengeful God smites Ohio for its dying, jobless economy, we gun-toting survivalists will be glad we didn't waste our time going to art shows, movies, museums, theater and such nonsense, but rather supported the annual spring North Coast Nature Festival. It occurs this weekend in and around the Rocky River Nature Center (2400 Valley Pkwy., North Olmsted). It unrolls the green carpet for VIP guests in a free indoor/outdoor marathon of family activities, live animals, panel discussions, multimedia presentations and singular special treats. Ken Kaufmann, a prolific nature writer and Audubon magazine editor, will speak at 7 p.m. on the topic of "Why We Need Birds" (why, to peck out the eyes of the bankers and CEOs after they get left out of the Rapture for their sin of outsourcing, of course). Eminent nature photographer Rick Sammon will preside Friday at 7 and 9 p.m. about the shooting he's done in the Antarctic (shooting! Glock! Smith & Wesson! Colt! Luger! Hollow-point armor-piercing!), and there also will be talks and shows of regional reptiles and amphibians, visits to the peregrine falcons (pictured) at the nearby Hilliard Road Bridge, environmentally friendly businesses and even live music (I dig "Eve of Destruction" particularly). It runs this evening and 10 a.m.-5 p.m. tomorrow and Sunday. For info call 440.734.6660. And don't forget, vote Obama '08. And '12. - Charles Cassady Jr.

Friday, April 25

Go, Diego, Go Live!

First there was Dora the Explorer, in Nickelodeon Jr. cartoons, PC games, a whole mini-industry devoted to the multiculturally correct educational adventuress that eventually bled into touring stage shows. But now comes her cousin Diego in Go, Diego, Go Live! The Great Jaguar Rescue. It's a toddler-friendly stage production which encourages kid call-and-response audience interaction, basic Spanish and eco-lessons, as Diego and Dora help foil the Bobo Brothers, who have stolen a baby jaguar's growl. Me, I wish Diego had been around to defend that poor cougar shot dead by Chicago cops last week. But a nonwhite trying to interfere with armed Mayor Daley peace officers? Diego probably would have ended up getting his head clubbed bloody. Then riddled with gunfire. And then told to "freeze." Performances at 7 p.m. tonight, 11 a.m., 2 and 5 p.m. tomorrow and 2 and 5 p.m. Sunday at the Palace Theatre. Tickets: $15-$35. For info, call 216.241.6000 or go to playhousesquare.org. - CC

Grapes on Tour

Grapes on Tour isn't what the California Raisins called their act before the drugs took their toll on their physiognomy. It's the successor to the well-remembered Grapes on the Gridiron, the annual wine and food tasting that benefits the charity works of Our Lady of the Wayside in Avon. Now it's held indoors at the Rock Hall, a change from its previous yardage at Browns Stadium. Join local radio and TV personalities like John Lanigan and Tony Rizzo, Michael Stanley in an acoustic performance, and young students from the newly-founded Paul Green School of Rock showing their music chops. The entertainment accompanies samples from more than 50 wineries and chefs. Wine, gourmet dining and a silent auction happen from 6:30-10:30 p.m. Tickets: $100, or $150 VIP level for a "Best of Grapes" selection. For info and reservations call 440.934.6054 or go to blacktie-cleveland.com. - CC

Cleveland Museum of

Art Book Sale

The area's cluttered with bookstores this time of year (check out your local library; they've probably got one coming up) but the one this weekend at the Cleveland Museum of Art's Ingalls Library (11150 East Blvd.) is likely to be something special, with lots of those big, glossy coffee table books and copiously illustrated exhibition catalogues at bargain prices, additional discount for members and students. Take home an art museum between covers! Hours: 10 a.m.-7 p.m. today, 10 a.m.-4:30 p.m. tomorrow. Call 888.CMA.0033 for info. - AP

Saturday, April 26

Abracadabra

Tighten up your cape and Windex your wand. Abracadabra is making its grand "reappearance" at the Children's Museum of Cleveland (10730 Euclid Ave., 216.791.7114). The seasonal exhibit centers around the magic of everyday things. Your kids will try their hand at making things and themselves disappear, and attempting to pull a rabbit out of a hat. More realistically, they'll dazzle and amaze you with their new-found shadow-puppet skills and their knowledge of the mathematics of playing cards (which comes in handy when you're going to MIT and you need an overnight to Vegas for tuition). Kids can learn to work angles to move objects right to left (This will be useful later in life when your kid is sinking a bank shot at your local pool hall) and mystically suspend balls in a blast of constant air. In addition to all of this, your kids will learn to decode secret messages using body heat. That was maybe the highlight of my own childhood. Basically, this exhibit is like every smarty-pants kid who tells you how everything works. So, to avenge that know-it-all kid, take your kids to the science museum and you show them the magic of everyday stuff. Admission: $5 adults, $7 kids 1-12.

- Jara Horvath

MS Walk

Everything's blooming a month late this year but now that the weather's warming up, the walks/runs/rides for every charity under the sun are going to be coming fast and furious. This weekend, for instance, there'll be walks to benefit the National Multiple Sclerosis Society to aid in research and treatment of the disease which robs often very young adults of their mobility. Teams and individuals are welcome to walk starting at Blossom Music Center (1145 W. Steels Corners Rd., Cuyahoga Falls, check-in time 8 a.m.), Time Warner Cable Amphitheater in downtown Cleveland (check-in at 9 a.m.) and Mentor High School (6477 Center St., Mentor, check-in at 9 a.m.). For info on signing up, go to msohiowalk.org or call 800.667.7131. - AP

Sunday, April 27

Circle of Masks Festival

Around town, in neighborhoods and churches and community centers, little gaggles of folks are starting to gather and make plans, talking about strange and wonderful things they're going to create. What they're talking about is Cleveland's unique annual festival Parade the Circle, sponsored by the Cleveland Museum of Art (11150 East Blvd.), in which local family, school and community groups design their own entries. This year's theme, Skipping the Muse - Running the Fiddle, challenges entrants to base their creations on objects in the museum. From 1-4 p.m. today at the museum, the Circle of Masks festival will feature workshops by mask-makers and choreographers and an opportunity to give the newly created masks and newly learned steps a dry run. Parade the Circle itself takes place on June 14. Call 216.707.2483 or go to clevelandart.org/parade to sign up. - AP

Go, Diego, Go Live! Kids can help the performers help the baby jaguar get his growl back at the Palace Theatre.