Whatever is speeding up the collapse of Riverbed Street into the Cuyahoga, it's not a leaky sewer pipe, says the Northeast Ohio Regional Sewer District. That's good news for the sewer district but bad news for property owners in the Flats, who were hoping to offset some of the estimated $50 million it will cost to keep the hill below the Detroit-Superior bridge from falling into the Cuyahoga and shutting down our port ("Up A Creek," July 3).

According to Jean Chapman, a NEORSD spokesperson, the sewer district has invested $3 million to repair bows and dents in a sewer interceptor that lies below Riverbed. The damage was caused by the geological stress of the shifting ground there, which slowly moved the interceptor from its original location, like a glacier pushing a boulder. "It takes significant stress to move that interceptor," she says. "But there's no leaking. There hasn't been and there will not be."

Good news, but hardly a solution. Unless someone picks up the tab and shores up the Cuyahoga, the hill and the sewer pipes beneath it will continue their short trip toward the river.

Unfortunately, property owners are not keen on cutting a check anytime soon. So to manage the seemingly inevitable catastrophe, the city is working with the Army Corps of Engineers on a response plan for when the hill finally falls into the Cuyahoga.

The Corps released a copy of the Cuyahoga Riverbank Failure Contingency Plan to the Free Times last week. As detailed in the report, the Corps will become the decision-making agency in the event of a "catastrophic collapse," with the Coast Guard managing river navigation. The Corps has also compiled a list of contractors to call on to dredge the river and to construct bulkheads along the shoreline. The Corps also warns property owners that if they do not spend money to keep this from happening, they will be billed for the repairs once it does. — James Renner

WHAT THE CHUCK?

Each Thursday, Cleveland readers are treated to the wacky antics of Plain Dealer reporter Chuck Yarborough, who spends one day a week working someone else's job and then writes about it for an ongoing series titled "On the Job Training." It's like Dirty Jobs in the same way The Hills is like Jane Eyre. Previous adventures have included: "Chuck Yarborough really digs archaeology" and "Chuck thinks outside the box to help make containers."

Many fans believe he jumped the shark after the "Shedding my fear as a nude model." But only after last week's installment, in which Yarborough became a nursing assistant, did it become clear that this series needs a serious re-boot. We suggest:

"Chuck Yaborough finds fluffing is not so bad if you don't make eye contact."

"Chuck "pops a cap in your ass' to become a member of 10-5."

"Pillaging foreclosed homes for copper piping, a plumb job for Yarborough."

"Does Chuck have to smack a bitch? There's a new pimp on Arlington and Exchange!"

"Kickbacks, schmickbacks - Chuck opens a new front company for Mike White."

"A day as Patrick O'Malley's computer tech is hard work for Chuck ... and donkeys."

"Dealing drugs on East 55, not all it's cracked up to be, Chuck discovers."

"Chuck is Carl Monday's mustache - news at 11!" — JR

YEAH, BUT WE GOT RID OF SADDAM AND HIS WMD!

Five years into this whole Iraqi occupation thing, and the bills are really starting to pile up, huh? We're talking a new total of $656 billion after President Bush signed on June 30 a new war-spending pass totaling $162 billion, most of which goes right to fixing potholes humped into Iraqi soil with our lustful greed for friendly sales in fossil fuels. God Bless US.

Really starts you to wondering what we could have used that money for here at home to spruce up a bit. Maybe we could put a dent in homelessness, help a family afford health care, bring a few children out of poverty. At the National Priorities Project (nationalpriorities.org), the math is already there for you to throw obscenities at.

Turns out the trade-off has been invaluable. For Ohioans, $18.5 billion has been bled: That's 44,299 affordable housing units, 75,695 elementary school teachers to drastically improve student-teacher ratios and 1,683,556 health insurance policies to working families. Cleveland will spend, as of today, $601.7 million on the war in Iraq. This has been $1,280 out of every pocket and diaper.

That means we could have equipped every home with renewable energy technology or gone a long way toward eliminating homelessness with 5,612 affordable housing units. We could have hired a small community of arts and music teachers to replace the piecemeal communal arts efforts in the schools, or even hired as many as 13,625 police officers to post on every corner, practically ending open-air criminality.

Or at the very least, every Clevelander could have a brand-new flat-screen TV and cable for a year, our own little theater pew in the ravenous War on Terror. Pray to your master, people. — Dan Harkins

LOCAL HERO

For the last 30 years, local attorney Ed Kramer has been fighting the good fight in Cleveland, with little fanfare. His law practice has focused on housing and employment discrimination, which means his clients tend to be those with little money and nowhere else to go.

On June 14, Kramer was awarded the Leonard Weinglass in Defense of Civil Liberties Award by the American Association for Justice (a membership organization of trial lawyers). The group says the award is given to individuals who have made "the greatest contribution to protecting and advancing civil liberties."

Since 1958, Weinglass has represented the likes of the protestors at the 1968 Democratic National Convention, also known as the Chicago 7; the defendants in the Pentagon Papers leak case; Black Panther Angela Davis; and death-row inmate Mumia Abu-Jamal.

One reason Kramer joins such company is his role as a leading advocate in the fight against predatory lending. Last spring, Kramer, who founded the nonprofit law practice Housing Advocates Inc. in 1975, went after one of Cleveland's biggest subprime lenders, Argent Mortgage Company. In a class-action complaint to HUD, Kramer argued that Argent had discriminated against black borrowers, peddling to them in particular loans of questionable quality.

In March, the Ohio Civil Rights Commission (which had been handed the case by HUD) ruled that Argent more likely than not engaged in such behavior. Indeed, foreclosure rates on Argent loans, especially in black neighborhoods, were disproportionately higher than those in non-black tracts, the OCRC investigation found.

Kramer says he's humbled by the award. "I see a need for lawyers who protect civil rights, especially in the last decade with government taking back some of our rights ... The courts in many ways are where one person can still make a difference in this country." — Charu Gupta